the trolls of blabbermouth – definitely not my ‘metal brothers’

the comments section of blabbermouth.net is at times the funniest and other times most depressing thing i have ever seen on the internet.

home to the greatest global collection of knuckleheads, sexists, and defensive, terrified wimps

for those that don’t know, blabbermouth is a heavy metal/hard rock news website. it used to allow almost totally anonymous commenting on each story. back then, racism, sexism, etc abounded. the site was a magnet for the dumbest fucks you could have the displeasure of knowing they existed.

at one point, some female singer from a shitty band i can’t remember made a comment about what imbeciles blabbermouth commenters were. of course blabbermouth posted the story and the comments section exploded with all kinds of misogyny and hatred. i couldn’t believe the site was allowing outright sexism despite the disclaimer on each page of the site that said any intolerant or hateful comments would result in the poster being banned. i emailed the site moderator about this several times but never heard back.

not too long after this incident though, the site underwent a facelift and has since required people to use their facebook account to comment. this lack of total anonymity has cut down on a lot of the bullshit but make no mistake, the place is still a hotbed of stupidity. i just read a story on babymetal (who fucking rule) and there are all kinds of asinine comments. one that particularly gets me is

just further proof that musical taste is in the shitter here, metal brothers. Sigh.

fuck right off, mr james hensler (the idiot who posted that comment). i like a lot of metal but i’m not your fucking brother. liking a style of music doesn’t mean we have anything else in common. furthermore, i probably don’t even like the same metal you do. you probably like total fucking garbage.

then there are comments like “the only people who like babymetal are disgusting pedophiles,” which is so incredibly stupid that i can’t even believe i’m addressing it. that’s like saying “everyone who has a dog is into bestiality” or “any man who likes metallica must be gay since there are men in metallica.” it’s a bit of a fucking stretch that totally defies any logic but that’s the sort of MENSA-caliber argument you routinely see in blabbermouth comments.

at the very least, if people are going to hate on something, i wish they would supply some kind of cohesive statement or observation so there could be a legit conversation instead of a few primates just slinging their own feces back and forth at each other. like, instead of “this shit aint TR00 METAL, are you with me metal brothers”, they could say something like “the vocals are off-key” or “the stage show is boring, they don’t even move” or “i don’t relate to these lyrics at all.” just say something halfway fucking intelligent, that’s all.

like i do with this non-stop bitchfest blog of mine.

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10 thoughts on “the trolls of blabbermouth – definitely not my ‘metal brothers’

      1. i don’t like babymetal, i LOVE it. i think they’re the best music i have heard in a few years.

        Really? I can’t believe that! They’re music isn’t the best I’ve heard in the past few hours…to me.

        They sing (mundane lyrics) in Japanese. You can’t understand them, can you?

        >feel free to explain why you don’t like them though.

        Simply because I don’t like pop music. J-pop, US pop, any pop…especially with little girls with squeaky voices singing it!

        I wrote a post about them last year (before they were known outside Japan):
        http://tokyo5.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/baby-metal/

        And they’re mentioned with some other bands here:
        http://tokyo5.wordpress.com/2014/05/20/six-totally-insane-japanese-metal-bands/

      2. i wouldn’t say i like pop, or any genre, as a whole but that doesn’t mean i dislike any genre as a whole either. i do hate the vast majority of pop music but i also hate the vast majority of metal. there’s just a lot of garbage out there, regardless of genre.

        with that in mind, i love the pop aspects of babymetal because i think they use the best parts of pop without the usual shitty trappings. for instance, you don’t like their lyrics because you think they’re mundane but i love them because they’re mundane (i should note that i have read translations of all their lyrics): they don’t take themselves too seriously like a lot of pop and metal artists do and i find that refreshing. it’s pure fun with no pretension.

        your 2013 post about them is from june, about 5 months ahead of when i first checked them out! i’m pretty proud i was even that far ahead of their popularly surge, even if you have me beat by such a large margin. i’m normally horrendously unfashionable but this time i wound up getting into something that actually blew up.

  1. >i also hate the vast majority of metal. there’s just a lot of garbage out there, regardless of genre.

    Maybe. But, I like heavy metal. But there are very few pop songs that I like.

    I tried to like BabyMetal. One of my daughters like them so I heard their songs thru her. The music is good…but once they start singing, they ruin every song.

    >i think they use the best parts of pop

    Really? I think the fact that they’re squeaky-voiced teeny-bops is the ‘worst’ aspect of pop music!

    > have read translations of all their lyrics

    Really? Where? I would like to see how they’re lyrics were translated…just out of curiosity. To see if I agree with the translations.

    >about 5 months ahead of when i first checked them out!

    Well, actually, to be honest…I knew about them for about half a year before I bother to write that post about them.

    I think though, that they’ve become much more popular outside of Japan than they are here (in Japan). I think “anything Japanese” has become popular in America and Europe recently.

  2. This is absolutely funny… I just posted my own rant on the trolls of Blabbermouth on my blog. Good to see that I’m not the only one with that opinion, haha

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