truck culture in north america: stupid

i feel strongly about over-consumption and waste. one of the worst displays of these things that i see every day is people driving god damned massive trucks FOR NO REASON AT ALL. i’m talking about mint condition, full size gas guzzlers being used as commuter vehicles and grocery getters. just the other day i was bitching about this to a co-worker and i started pointing out how of all the trucks we were seeing (about half of all the vehicles on the road), none were carrying anything in the bed. i would make a generous guess that maybe 1 in 10 trucks i see are actually being used as they were intended. that drives me up the wall. why drive a vehicle designed for hauling when you can do the same stuff in a sub-compact and use 1/3 of the resources?

“no honey, you can’t take the armoured assault vehicle to pick the kids up from daycare. i need it to return some DVDs.”

i have spoken with some truck defenders about how much truck fuel economy has improved over the years but they’re delusional and obviously don’t track their mileage at all. i just checked now and all those fancy 2013 and 2014 F150’s are still only getting 15-16 mpg. take a look for yourself if you’re doubtful. go to where users–real people who drive in real life, not EPA estimates based on perfect driving over perfectly flat highways–log their mileage and fuel consumption. look up your fave truck and see the awful truth.

i don’t think most truck owners worry about fuel consumption though. i think they actually like the costs associated with trucks, like “look at me, i’ve got so much disposable income that i’m happy to pay $150 just to fill this piece of shit up!” for those owners, an expensive truck that is also expensive to drive is just a great status symbol. it’s like the north american version of a porsche or ferrari. i don’t think i need to explain why status symbols are a fucking waste and sure sign of a dickhead.

when jenn and i went to europe on our honeymoon, it was extremely rare to see trucks at all, and every one we did see was being used as some kind of work vehicle, hauling stuff that wouldn’t fit in a car, just like god intended. and you can bet your balls we didn’t see a single hummer there. if only that kind of sensibility would find its way over here.

thou shalt be content with thy genitals


2 thoughts on “truck culture in north america: stupid

  1. I feel your pain, sir. You have represented my feelings about this issue very succinctly. In fact, I also noticed the pleasant lack of vanity trucks when we were in France a few years ago. I pointed out to my wife that exact same thing–that the only trucks we saw were hauling something. And those weren’t even big trucks by North American standards. I also noticed that gas was at least twice the price in Europe as it was at home! And we complain about a measly little carbon tax here.
    Another thing I resent about the trucks is the safety excuse. “Oh, I feel safer in my truck, and I can see over all the traffic.” Me: “Well, that’s not because you’re driving a truck, you selfish @#%$#, it’s because everyone else isn’t. So, on behalf of all us car drivers, you’re welcome. Now please don’t T-bone me and my children with your safe truck.” Say, this bitching thing is catching. Thanks for the post. By the way, I’m sure you’ve been to FUH2, but here it is just in case:

  2. i obviously agree 100% with any opinion opposed to giant trucks. the safety excuse kills me too, for the same reason. if a few dickheads didn’t drive massive tanks for vehicles in the first place, no one else would need to drive massive tanks too. jesus christ.

    i’ve never seen that site but it’s fucking awesome. i didn’t know the H2 was actually a chevy tahoe!!!! what an even bigger piece of shit!!!! i want to breathe fire over every single hummer in the entire world.

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