TMI/oversharing: bullshit. social anxiety: bullshit.

i’ve recently had some run-ins with a few things that i don’t believe in. i think they’re both a load of crap.

#1: TMI/oversharing

i looked up ‘tmi’ and found this. i love calvin and hobbes!

if you can’t handle the personal stuff someone is telling you, you’re a fucking pussy. reality is full of all kinds of uncomfortable, ugly truths, but refusing to talk about them doesn’t make them disappear. that’s just like putting a towel over the turd in the hallway — it’s still there and everyone knows it but people are trying to pretend it’s not there. i think that actually makes those ugly things even more awkward, more sinister. acknowledging and discussing is the first step to cleaning that turd up!

when i was a teenager, i had a girlfriend who often said “uhhh, haha, too much information…” when i would get personal or intimate. that hurt my feelings. i wasn’t just being gross or anything stupid like that. i was being honest with someone who i thought was close enough to me that i could talk about anything with them, someone i could confide in. when she said that, i realized there were lots of things she simply didn’t want to hear about, but i had no idea what those things were so it made me feel anxious: what can i talk and not talk about? what topics is she going to shut down? i’ll tell you now, i don’t like feeling anxious or guilty for talking about normal, human things. SO I DUMPED HER ASS!!! just kidding, we broke up a while later but not over that.

since then, i’ve witnessed lots of people outside of my social circle who have the same reaction to many topics, and i still hate it. i believe in openness, i believe in the truth, i believe in brutal honesty. i like those things because without them, we may as well not be talking at all. we may as well just keep asking each other “how about this weather?” or some other useless small talk chit chat horseshit. i want to know more about my fellow humans and understand them better, and shutting down intimate, personal conversations directly impedes that. so TMI and oversharing can talk a flying fuck at a rolling donut, they’re bullshit.

#2: social anxiety

i’ve recently heard a few people claim to have social anxiety. do you know what anxiety is? it’s panic attacks. it’s a sense of dread, of fear, feeling short of breath, experiencing chest pain or tightness, sweating, hyperventilating, etc. CLINICAL ANXIETY MEANS HAVING A FUCKING FREAK OUT. you’re still fine, it’s all in your head, but you feel really fucked up.

so if you have ‘social anxiety,’ you better experience those symptoms every time you go to a bar or the grocery store or the movie theater or for a walk down the street etc because those are all social situations too. if you only experience ‘social anxiety’ when you go to a party where you don’t know many people, and if you don’t actually experience any clinical signs of anxiety like i listed above, you don’t have social anxiety. you just don’t like going to parties where you don’t know many people and you’re looking for an excuse that sounds legit — you want an excuse for not coming out that people aren’t going to give you shit over. admit it, you just don’t think you’re very good at making new friends, or you think they won’t like you, or whatever. hey, that’s fine, everyone feels like that sometimes, but don’t try to dress it up like you have a real deep-seated psychological issue, because you don’t.

i don’t even have much sympathy for people who actually do have panic attacks. so sue me.

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