“what happens in vegas” is completely vile

i’ve never been to vegas and i have no intention of ever going. that doesn’t stop me from believing it’s the asshole of north america, if not the world.

my problem with vegas is this: the heart and soul of the place is based on the most base and vapid aspects of human culture. greed, superficiality, excess, a focus on inebriation, a lack of any real human connections. these are the core values of vegas, and i hate em. i don’t give a shit about limos, gambling, strippers, drinking, wash-ups performing shitty shows, desert heat, phony motherfuckers, or anything else that vegas has to offer. there are a lot of places i want to see in the world that offer real, genuine people and experiences, so i’ll take those over vegas any day. shit, even if it was all expenses paid, i’d stay in shawnigan rather than check out vegas.

for example, look at these las vegas-based pieces of shit.


or these pieces of shit.


or these pieces of shit.

do you think these image-obsessed phonies actually know themselves? i don’t. i think they are lost in the caricatures that they have seen on tv, idolized, and replicated. they can’t know who they are or what they like or what they seek in life because they’re trying to be someone else. and people who don’t know themselves can’t know anyone else, especially other phonies. that’s like two cardboard cut-outs trying to really get to know each other. “hi, i’m a one-dimensional non-person with nothing genuine to offer.” “me too.” [prolonged silence ensues.] and these are the kind of crows that are attracted to the shiny, glittery facade of vegas. so why would i want to go to their mating grounds and be surrounded by them?

the omnipresent gambling of vegas really bothers me too. it preys on the addicts and is a showy display of wealth for rich twats who want to say “hey, it’s no big deal if i lose $20,000 in one night! i’ve got more where that came from!” it’s like peacocks strutting. people who want to make that kind of display are insecure, shallow cunts.

the ridiculous overconsumption of alcohol disgusts me. i think of bloated, bleary-eyed tourists stumbling around like zombies, feeling like they’re kings in this fabulous place, when any sober person can see that they’re still just a bloated, bleary-eyed tourist stumbling around like a zombie. i also fail to understand the pride that people feel in reaching such lows. what is so awesome about falling over, puking, unable to speak, stinking like a homeless person? especially when you can do that in your own hometown. you certainly don’t have to go to vegas to get drunk.

let her die, there’s millions more just like her right around the corner anyway.

even the stupid ‘what happens in vegas, stays in vegas’ mantra makes me sick. it’s like justification or even encouragement for people to do awful things they will regret or not want anyone to know about. if you want to get away from your real life and have these dark secrets, you’ve got fucking problems, and any place that is proud to be a vehicle for that shit has problems too. god, what a shithole.

lots of my pals have gone to vegas, of course. many of them like to get wasted and don’t care about all the stuff i just ranted about. but a few of them share my concerns, and to these pals, i asked “what the fuck are you doing that for?” in both cases, it was a family vacation thing, and in both cases, my pals tried to make the best of it. both of them came back depressed, disgusted with humanity. even my wife couldn’t handle vegas, and she doesn’t share my misanthropic views. quite the contrary, actually. i figured if anyone would make the best of that place, she would. but when she came back depressed, disgusted with humanity, i knew that all my years of ranting were justified: las vegas really is a stinking, filthy, shit-smeared toilet with nothing more than a glittering, flashy facade built in front of it.


“welcome to vegas”


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