fuck straws

i fucking hate straws. the next server who puts one in my drink is going to get a swift roundhouse kick to the fucking jaw. do i look like an 8-yr old kid? do i look like the sort of man who wants to sip so i don’t smear my lipstick? do i look like the kind of guy who wants to stuff landfills with plastic that will take thousands of years to break down because i’m too lazy to lift the goddamned glass to my face?

because i’m none of those things. i’m a guy who hates a useless piece of plastic being put in my drink only to get tossed straight in the trash when i’m perfectly capable of drinking from a glass like a normal human being.

get fucked, you little weasel. wash that straw out and reuse it till the day you die, or live with the guilt of choking countless sea animals, and ultimately yourself and your children, with that super kool krazy straw of yours.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s