patti stanger: barf-o-rama

the condo we stayed at on our vacation had full cable and jenn promptly went to town watching shows that had me in fits of rage. one such show was the abominable ‘millionaire matchmaker’, starring a troll named patti stanger. here is a pic of said troll as she appears on the show.

i knew instantly that this was some sort of mythological beast using a disguise to walk among us. so i looked up pics of her to see what she really looks like and found this.

sometimes my intuition amazes me.

now, normally i don’t sit around on my tropical vacations, looking up pictures of people i hate, but stanger really got me fired up for a few reasons. her phony ‘i’m brash and rude but i tell it like is’ approach, which is clearly just a poorly performed stage persona, is just cruel and hurtful. she emphasizes superficiality and physical attraction when she herself actually looks like your average wal-mart shopper. and, like any good wannabe diva hollywood show host phony, the focus must always be on her. never mind the people she is trying to set up, if she can find a reason to cut someone off mid-sentence to insult them, or barge in on a conversation between two people to criticize them for something inane, she will do it.

i’m not an idiot though. i understand this is tv designed for mass consumption by lowest common denominator white trash, and grizzled ol’ stanger is just being a savvy business woman by giving the pleebs what they want. but i guess i’m not ok with people acting phony, hurtful, and hypocritical for the sake of a fat paycheque.

you know what else i hate about the show? i hate grown adults acting like fucking kids, going “yaaaayyyy” and clapping their hands excitedly. stanger and her little helpers do it all the time. too bad it’s not cute or funny, no matter who does it. it’s childish as all hell, and thoroughly disingenuous. NOBODY actually reacts like that so if you see someone do it, slap them and say, “get real.” i also don’t like high-fiving very much.

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