sometimes i flip back through my old blog posts to see what i’ve written. i mean, i bitch a lot so it’s tough to keep track of all of it. and when i see things i’ve written that i’ve forgotten about, things that make me smile or even LOL, i feel good. really fucking good.
i don’t know how many folks can relate to how satisfying this is to me. do other people like their own shit as much as i do? do they pour over their old creations, alternately laughing maniacally to themselves and making tiny edits that no one else could possibly notice or give a shit about? for me, reading old posts that i really like is as good as listening to songs i’ve recorded that i still think are awesome. creating stuff that you really enjoy feels great, whether it’s a shitty blog of complaints or epic (in the true sense of the word, not the filthy hipster version) doom/death metal.
the only thing i’ve had to temper to reach this point is my hope of other people liking it at all. when i played serious music, i busted my ass — i practiced my ass off at home to become a better musician, i practiced my ass off with the band so we were tight as fuck, i created cool looking merch and got it made, i organized shows and tours, i maintained our tour van, etc — and i was really bummed when hardly anyone gave a shit about the end result of all that effort. it sucked, it was totally depressing.
but now, i’ve been lucky enough to find another creative outlet that gives me even more joy than music did, is so much cheaper and easier to indulge in, and my investment is so minimal that i don’t give a fuck if no one reads it. i read it, and i like it a lot. that’s really fucking cool. so i’m glad i tried this, even if i’m my own biggest fan.
so this is me patting myself on the back. way to go, david. your blog is fucking sick, dude.