bill and i always bitch at each other about how shitty it is to sell stuff online on craigslist or usedvictoria or whatever. sometimes you get lucky and manage to buy or sell stuff pretty easy but for the most part, people are fucking stupid assholes. i have even bitched about it on here a few times, like here and here. i just had a few lousy recent experiences to add to the pile.
#1. so i listed an old cell phone on usedcowichan.com and got an email about it that said, “hi can you text me?” i fucking HATE texting so that was a bad start. i texted back and forth about a million times with this twit about whether i was firm on the $35 price tag and when and where we could meet because she was in shawnigan right now but was going to mill bay in a little bit to get some dinner for her kids so maybe mill bay would work better and blah blah blah, FUCK. we honestly could have worked all of this out in a 2 minute phone conversation but apparently she only had texting on her phone so it took us a few days.
who has a fucking phone that you can’t talk on? jesus christ, what is this world coming to.
we finally hammered out a time and place to meet up. she bought the phone and then 5 minutes later she texts me again saying, “it’s locked.” so i go back out to meet her and sure as shit, it’s locked and i don’t remember the code. i was pretty frustrated but just gave her the money back and said i would let her know if i figured it out. then i had to remind her to also give me back the box and charger, the idiot. i got home, figured out the code out within an hour, and texted her to let her know. she got back to me and said she had spent the money on dinner for her kids and would be broke for the next 3 weeks, if i could wait that long.
how does someone only have $35 to live on for 3 weeks, how can they justify spending their last $35 on a cell phone, how can they not scrounge another $35 together in 3 weeks, and what are her kids supposed to be eating for dinner for the next 3 weeks if she just spent her last $35 on a single dinner for them now? so many stupid questions, so few answers. i didn’t bother responding at this point.
#2. a few days later, i get an email from the same girl’s email address but this time, she’s asking me to send a text to a different #. weird. anyway, i did, and i was obviously dealing with a different person because they responded much faster and used proper grammar, whereas the previous girl was slow and had terrible grammar. this person asked me how much the phone was. i said $35, they said “oh too bad, i only have $30.” i almost texted back “fuck you” but decided to just leave them hanging. within a few minutes, they texted again asking if i would take $30. i said nope, and that was that. fine by me, i’d rather hang on to the phone forever rather than buy some bullshit story from a cheap prick who insists on feeling like they’re getting a deal.
#3. i had some cedar mill ends sitting in the yard, making it look like a shithole. jenn and i had wanted to use them for campfires but we had way too many to fit in the bin so i put up an ad saying the stuff on the ground was free for the taking. i had several people email me right away but none of them got back to me after i responded to them. i guess free firewood was just too much hassle for them to follow through on.
finally some guy came to get them. he got most of them into his car and said he’d be back in the afternoon for the rest of them. i said great. afternoon came and went, and he texted me to ask if he could come the next morning for them. i said sure. the next morning came and went, no sign of the guy. several weeks came and went, no sign of the guy. finally after almost a month i got around to cleaning them up myself and managed to squeeze them all into the bin. just two days later and after weeks with no contact, i received a text from the guy who had picked up most of the wood, claiming he had had a family emergency prevent him from getting the rest of the mill ends. he asked if they were still there and could he come get them.
he obviously thinks i’m a fucking idiot. he bailed on me twice, then used the family emergency line because it’s a safe lie that no one is going to give you shit over. well, fuck him. i told him i had a family emergency and had to get rid of all that free wood shortly after he bailed on me. no, i didn’t say that, i just told him it was already gone.
#4. this isn’t quite a craigslist story but it’s close enough, and so similar to #3 that i have to mention it. i sold some tercel stickers to a guy on the 4wd tercel forum for a whopping $4. i mailed them promptly after he ordered them, but after several weeks i still had not received his payment. i sent him a polite private message through the forum, no response. i emailed him politely, no response. after 2 months i sent him an irate private message and email telling him i was pissed that he would order something he either couldn’t afford, or couldn’t be bothered to actually pay for. i said $4 is obviously not going to break me but it’s fucking low, shitty, and cheap as all hell to not pay such a miniscule debt, especially when i was so prompt and sent him his shit in good faith, and that i was going to ban him from the forum for being a shitty person. finally, after months, i got a response.
he said he had had a family emergency.
fuck every idiot and their “family emergencies.” i don’t buy them for a second. and you know what, even if you have a family emergency, i bet you could still have found time to throw four measly fucking dollars in an envelope and drop it in the mailbox on the way to the hospital, or send me a text in a timely manner saying “sorry, something came up, i can’t come pick up that wood.”
i think i’m going to start advertising free stuff on craigslist with my address on there, and when people show up i’m going to jump out from behind a tree and attack them with a fucking bat.