today i was grocery shopping when paul simon’s ‘still crazy after all these years’ came on the in-store radio.
it hit me then how much this song reminds me of the holiday season, or more specifically how it reminds me of the dichotomy of the depths of winter. the cold and darkness are so morose and haunting but we spend a lot of time over christmas and new years with close friends and family, surrounded by warm twinkling lights and festive decorations, reflecting on the closing year’s happenings. maybe those are just responses to the cold and dark, ways to fight against them. who knows. but for me, the overall effect of the contrast of those dark and light things is one of wonderful bittersweet nostalgia. there’s something sad about it, but it’s really beautiful, and i love it just like that.
i often think about the seasons as a metaphor for life and death. no clever surprises here: spring – birth; summer – the prime of life; autumn – decline; winter – death. i sound like a fucking teenage girl with dyed black hair and candles in her room, pretending to be wiccan. oh well. anyway, the point is that thinking about the seasons always brings me back to big picture stuff, like life and death, so i can’t think about ‘still crazy after all these years’ and winter and the holidays without thinking about death. but in a nice way.
i guess i’m just hopeful that death will hold the same kind of bittersweet warmth and glow amongst a world of darkness just like winter does, that dying will feel the same to me as ‘still crazy after all these years’ and auld lang syne and new years with great friends.