every fucking jackoff goes camping on the weekend

this is what everyone imagines camping is going to be like: serene, beautiful, peaceful, romantic.

but this is the reality of most camping: a bunch of tubby, drunk, white trash weekend warriors jammed like sardines into a dust bowl or mud pit, stumbling about with their screaming progeny in hot pursuit.

that’s fucking bullshit. jenn and i go camping to get away from the hordes of scum we already have to see every day. we don’t want to migrate with them to the popular local campgrounds on long weekends so that we can fight gridlock traffic there and back. we don’t want to jockey with them for a spot in a jam-packed campground. we don’t want to be woken up when their kids start tearing around the fucking campsite on their bicycles at 630 am. we don’t want to put up with their drunken “wooohooooo yeah baby hahahahahahahah” commentary that begins around noon and continues till 8 pm when they finally pass out. that stuff is all the shits. when we go camping, we want to explore beautiful, quiet, unspoiled places. we want to spend quality time together. we want to actually ‘get away from it all,’ not just call it that even though it’s actually a fucking rat race, a mobile home park or suburban neighborhood transplanted to a sparsely-treed lot next to a river of mud.

so we try to go camping mid-week, off the beaten path, or even do dispersed camping (aka camping wherever you find a nice spot). we’ve happened across all kinds of awesome shit camping like this. we’ve found old crashed planes on mountains, giant caves, groves of old growth trees, waterfalls we could walk out on (very dangerous but really cool), mountain trails with incredible views, abundant wild fruit, wild animals we’ve never seen before (i saw a big porcupine near mt st helens a few years ago, which was awesome), ghost towns, lava tubes, tiny lakes teeming with fish, herds of wild horses, natural hot springs, yada yada yada. and we rarely have to deal with any dickheads, let alone many other people.

a beautiful free spot we found in south eastern oregon.

a beautiful, quiet, free spot we found in south eastern oregon.

there’s awesome shit all over the place that is free of annoying plebes, even close to home. you just have to be open to exploring and/or have a massive hate-on for the rest of the human race.

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