end

i just took the dog for a walk and got to pondering life and death yet again. it’s a tireless subject, really. today i was particularly focused on the idea that it is possible to keep pulling one’s perspective on life further and further back until the picture is so big that absolutely nothing on this planet is of any consequence anymore.

red-giant

fuck it.

for example, there are a lot of political, environmental, and industrial issues that i care about a lot, and our current conservative canadian federal gov’t is basically doing the exact opposite of what i want. it makes me both furious and depressed sometimes. when i get that fucked up about those issues, i console myself by doing the best that i personally can to make the changes i want to see, and remind myself that some day in the next 45 years or so, i’ll die anyway. at that point i won’t have to bear witness to any more crazy large-scale bullshit, which will be a blessing. sure, it also means i won’t be able to have any more fun here with jenn and our friends, but you have to look on the bright side of things.

but that perspective still leaves me concerned for future generations. what horrors will we bestow on them? choking toxic smog, acidified dead oceans, rampant collusion by gov’t and industry, slow erosion of personal freedoms in the name of fighting terrorism? that can get me down too.

everything is fine, just keep working.

so i take another step back and think about how, if we don’t end up killing the entire human race ourselves, the sun will do it for us when it becomes a red giant and cooks earth to a scorched, barren rock. it may even completely swallow the earth, reducing the entire planet to ashes.

when i think about that — about how not only will i die relatively soon, or how our entire race will eventually die, but how even the planet we live on will eventually disappear forever — well, i can’t help but feel a little less awful about giant oil spills, horrifying human rights abuses, and the global food crisis. nothing we have seen or done here, good or bad, will survive. the only traces of people, our problems, and all the rest of earth will just be atoms scattered throughout space. all those oil spills won’t matter a damn then.

c’est la vie

so i just keep living my life, having the best time i can, and when things start to seem shitty, i try think about the end of everything we know. then all those big problems seem absolutely insignificant: nothing here really matters because it will all end one day. it’s very comforting.

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