fuck averiecooks.com part 3

holy mother of god, i’m so pissed at averiecooks.com right now. i’ve already bitched about this stupid website twice (part 1 here and part 2 here) but here’s the problem now: i’ve made the muffins a few times and they’re actually fucking amazing — hands down the best muffin i’ve ever made — but i haven’t copied and pasted the recipe to anywhere yet. that means that tonight, when i wanted to make the muffins, i had to go back to averie’s shitty fucking website. the page, chalk full of giant pictures of the muffins, chalk full of giant pictures of other muffins she has made, chalk full of the same pictures of various muffins repeated over and over inexplicably, with the actual recipe for the muffins halfway down the 20-mile long page. and every time i go to her site, it takes forever to scroll down because i keep getting ‘shockwave plugin is busy’ or ‘shockwave plugin error’ messages. what the fuck for? what does that dickhead do to make her website so unusable? all i want to do is make some motherfucking muffins but navigating a single page on her terrible site takes almost 5 minutes — 5 minutes of pure rage.

her site is this bad.

so fuck her and fuck her stupid, shitty, poorly-laid out blog. now you and i don’t have to go there anymore. here’s the god damn recipe for her assfuck muffins.


1 medium ripe banana, peeled
1 large egg
heaping 1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
3 tablespoons honey (agave or maple syrup may be substituted)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
pinch salt, optional and to taste
heaping 1/2 cup mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

pre-heat over to 350* F. combine all ingredients except chocolate chips in blender. blend on high till creamy. mix chocolate chips in by hand. grease muffin pan. fill cups 3/4 full with batter. bake until muffins appear golden brown on top. let cool for 5 minutes before removing muffins from pan. allow muffins to cool further on cooling rack.

i used natural peanut butter even though averie warned against it. i also made these as regular full-size muffins because i’m a fucking man. the original recipe said to bake at 400* F but i felt that was too hot for the full-size muffins and would lead to undercooked centers, which is why i baked them at 350* F. they turned out excellent.


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