a marketing angle for every pathetic fucking loser

youtube has the worst commercials lately. every time i want to listen to some wicked death metal, i have to sit through stupid assholes trying con other stupid assholes into some get rich quick or get ripped quick scheme. it’s so obviously phony, such a clear con, but these scumbags must be making good money at it. what does that say? it’s says there are a lot of horrible dunces running around, evidently with disposable income. i’ve always known that but it doesn’t make the confirmation any less depressing.

i want to see this guy in a bare knuckles brawl with kimbo slice. i feel that would be fair justice for his crimes against humanity.

i’ve seen the ’10 minute ab workout’ guy a whole bunch. i knew who his market was right away: dumb, chubby losers who really want to believe that they can become chick magnets with only 10 minutes of exercise each day while still eating cheeseburgers every other meal. guys who lack both self esteem and common sense. desperate twits. there were no surprises with this 10 minute ab guy or his clientele.

then i saw an ad with this lamborghini/library scumfuck.

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hmmm.

at first, i thought “well well, another dipshit hawking lifestyles of the rich and famous to the poor and pathetic.” but then the ad got to him talking about how the car wasn’t as cool as his collection of books. i thought, “this is an interesting twist i did not expect. tell me more.” however, within a few seconds it became obvious to me that yes, this was yet another con. the only difference was the tone is designed to appeal to what i think is a significantly smaller, more specific market: instead of aiming for dumb, chubby losers who want a 6-pack (about 80% of people by my highly scientific estimate), this ad aims for wannabe yuppies with terrifyingly low self esteem who are desperate to appear successful and confident (probably only about 20% of people).

i had never seen an ad so precisely targeted to such a niche market. but i think it makes sense because even if there are not as many of those types around as other markets, it will speak so directly to them that they will think, wow, this is tailor-made for me. this is just what i need. by intentionally missing out on a wider audience, the ad should resonate better with a smaller one. in the end, the same number of units of _____ will probably be sold. the approach surprised me. i think it’s pretty clever but i obviously also consider the people behind it and those who buy into it my mortal enemies. i don’t think i need to explain why.

that’s me in the middle, cleansing this filthy fucking world of the vermin.

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