mad max: fury road – pretty good

*SPOILER ALERT* (i’m not giving away any top secret endings or anything but i am going to bitch about some specific stuff that people may not want to have ruined before they see fury road)

last night jenn and i saw mad max: fury road in 3D. i saw a trailer for it last year and was like “fuck that.” i thought it looked like shit, but i kept hearing really good things about it since it opened in theaters last week, so i decided to go for it. i figured even if it sucked shit, it would at least be visually entertaining in 3D. but you know what? i was pretty pleasantly surprised. it wasn’t perfect, for sure — there were a few scenes and lines of dialogue that really annoyed me — but it was good, and it was a great flick to catch in 3D. i give it an 8/10.

now i know everyone is cumming in their shorts over this movie, and i know that i’m a predictable contrarian, but i don’t care. i don’t say this shit just to be different. i say it because i believe it, because it’s what i feel, and this is what i feel about fury road: overall, it’s great. lots of fun, TONS of action, some neat characters, stayed true to the original mad max aesthetic with some really gross mutants and violence and crazy vehicles, but there was some lame bullshit that certainly shouldn’t have been in there.

one of those annoying things was the manic, sickly, violence-obsessed ‘war boy’ named nux getting all blubbery and sensitive after contributing to the death of queen splendid and being consoled by queen capable. give me a fucking break. am i to believe that this dim-witted adolescent who has been brought up on a strict diet of post-apocalyptic violence, aerosol-huffing, and ongoing blood transfusions from a living slave which he calls his ‘blood bag,’ is capable of experiencing a profound personal paradigm shift, not just overnight but in only a few minutes? that’s stupid. living in the mad max world, and being a war boy to boot, he would undoubtedly have been surrounded by and caused all manners of death, and thus been totally desensitized to it. and he’s dumb as a post. and he’s high as a kite. i think it’s fucking silly to pretend that this stupid, violent, drug-addled character is capable of such serious self-reflection and instant moral reassignment.

nux: dumb, violent, and high. just the way i like him.

the other thing i didn’t like was when max, furiosa, and co. meet with the last of the ‘many mothers.’ the camera pans and shows them meeting and interacting, and it is way too pleasant and happy. it reminds me of some of the stupid ewok scenes from star wars, it’s really childish and fluffy and ‘feel good’. but i don’t want to feel good. i want to feel disturbed and sickened. anyway, here it is: one of the queens reaches out to touch one of the old women as if she’s never seen an old lady before (which is dumb in itself since there are tons of old people back at the citadel). the old lady slaps the queen’s hand away to show she may be old but she’s still tough. LAME. to make it worse, then the old lady laughs warmly like a grandmother who has just gently scolded her grandchild; the queen joins her in laughing and they share some sort of mutually understood maternal bond. BARF. to me, that shit is totally inconsistent with rest of the harsh, brutal mad max world. it’s incongruous. any bond between humans in that world should be uneasy, tense, hard — no laughing, no smiles. that shit is for disney movies.

but those are about my only complaints with the movie. fury road isn’t going to change anyone’s life or make you think deeply about anything but it was really well done and really entertaining. oh yeah, the scenes where the bullet farmer is blinded and immortan joe gets his face ripped off were among my faves of the whole thing. pretty fucked up and brutal, especially for a mainstream blockbuster. and that makes me happy.


oh yeah


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