the other day, i was using a public bathroom when a guy came rushing in, jumped on the toilet, and unleashed all hell on the unsuspecting thing. the sounds and smells were horrible. to make it worse, i noticed that when he unrolled toilet paper to wipe his ass, he unrolled a bunch onto the floor before bunching it up to put it to use. that really grossed me out. i know assholes aren’t the cleanest part of our bodies but i don’t like the idea of exposing them to whatever filth is congregating on the bathroom floor by means of cross-contamination.
but what particularly struck me is that this scene is not uncommon in public bathrooms. i’d say that at least 50% of the time i use public bathrooms, i hear someone punishing their toilet with a violent liquid bowel movement, and that makes me wonder: does everyone have diarrhea, all the time? it sure seems like it, unless all those people just get really nervous every time they have to use a public bathroom. or maybe there are even more brutal alcoholics running around than i already suspect.
whatever. the point is, it’s gross, and it happens a lot, and i think it’s weird because i sure don’t have diarrhea that often. am i the weird one? maybe i should join the crowd and get diarrhea more regularly.