happy 2 years to me

wordpress just told me my blog is now two years old. hip hip hooray.

let’s celebrate by talking about my back problems.

i’ve been having them for about 5 years now, on and off. they’re a god damned pain in the ass. recently they got worse after doing a bunch of heavy lifting in the yard back in march. i was slow to get better but was gradually improving till one day in april when i woke up with a weird feeling around my tail bone, which was followed by debilitating muscle cramping all down my right leg. since then, the outside of my right foot feels like pins and needles, and my right calf and hamstring are weak as tits. i can’t do a single calf raise on that leg so i now refer to it as my ‘bum leg.’ incidentally, these things indicate that something is up with my S1 nerve. lovely.

now, i can live with this kind of thing. i do lots of physio and massage and acupuncture and exercise and stretching and anti-inflamatories, and that stuff keeps things bearable. i can still function fine. but what really pisses me off is when people ask me stupid questions about my back, like

  • “do you do core exercises?”
  • “have you tried yoga?”
  • “do you ever stretch after working out?”

come on. give me some fucking credit. let me illustrate how dumb those questions are.

in my job recently, i dealt with a woman whose several month old child was crying inconsolably. the first thing i asked her was, “have you tried feeding her?” as soon as the words had escaped my stupid mouth, i felt myself swoon with embarrassment. i apologized before she could even answer because i realized that feeding is the first thing every mother in the world tries when their kid starts crying, yet there i was, a childless man, talking like i had some worthwhile advice for this mother. i acknowledged that i had just said the dumbest thing in the whole world, and we laughed about it.

that’s what it’s like when people ask me about my core and yoga and stretching. they should be ashamed to ask me that stupid, obvious stuff, just like i was with that mother. don’t ask me that crap. it’s fucking insulting.

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