big box shopping, hating life

the other day i went to home depot for the second time in my life. it sucked. the people that work there all look like people who do their own renos and home mainetance — men with moustaches, that kind of thing — but of course they’re fucking useless when it comes to actually helping customers in the store. one sad bastard was slinking away with his little cart as i called to him, and it took him long enough to swing his low-hanging head around that i had wondered if he was pretending he didn’t hear me. he made it very clear very quickly that he couldn’t help me. i’d hate working there too but guess what, i’d find a different job then.

eeyore

this is pretty much who ‘helped’ me at home depot

next, i went to best buy to find a pair of headphones so i can do some home recording without driving jenn insane. the first thing i noticed before walking in was the parking lot was full of crappy teenager sports cars, like beat up acuras and civics with stickers all over them. that actually really captured the overall vibe of the store: all the people working there were overgrown kids, loser scum adults who spend a lot of time ‘gaming’ — lots of bad dye jobs on the chubby quasi-goth/gamer girls, and the boys are skinny acne-ridden basement dweller rodents.

but what bothered me the most was all the displays for various crap and how they tried to reflect cooler, more active, more attractive versions of the potential buyers back at themselves. like, “you’re cool. you’re tough. you’ve got an attitude. you live a wild life. you’re just like this beautiful person, and that’s why you need these headphones.”

skullcandy

coooool, someone has finally designed headphones for crazy, badass chicks like me

i know that that’s basically what all ads are like but there was something about these ones that really bothered me. i think it was the fact that these degenerate losers both working and shopping at best buy might actually think they’re cool to start with — despite the busted, shitty cars; the horrible, sad jobs; the basement dwelling; the countless hours spent playing video games; the gross unhealthy bodies…maybe they don’t know, maybe they can’t see how disgusting and pathetic they are.

but here’s the worst part. the headphones i bought don’t fit my giant head. so i have to go back to best buy to return them.

somewhere, the patron saint of degenerate loser trash is laughing at me.

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