today on my morning dog walk, i bumped into a nice lady who was walking a nice little dog of her own. her dog and mine got along well so we walked on together. she made a reference to her job at a local school and i enquired politely. what followed was 30 minutes of her talking non-stop about the several different institutions she’s worked at, the years she was at each one, the drama and politics behind the scenes at certain ones, blah blah blah. i was only asking to make conversation in the hopes of getting to a more mutually interesting topic, like global nuclear warfare and the subsequent eradication of all mankind…
…but this woman just kept going on and on about work. the weird thing was that she wasn’t like grandpa simpson. she didn’t meander aimlessly from one story to the next without finishing the prior thought. she wasn’t vomiting forth ‘verbal diarrhea’ (i think that term is overused and not as funny as so many lame adults like to believe it is). she was keenly intelligent and spoke with purpose. but she either thought i gave a shit about the minutia of her work life, or she didn’t give a shit whether i gave a shit or not and was just happy to have an audience who wasn’t shutting her down. i even asked her where she was from originally and her reply was to tell me about the school she worked at previously. i said no, where did you live before? she said, “oh, victoria.” and went back to talking about work.
when we reached the next fork in the road, i could see that she was going one direction so i opted for the other and said it was nice meeting her, ta ta. but really, i was so fucking relieved. i mean, she was nice, friendly, outgoing, bright-eyed, all that shit, but when it came down to it, i think she was a fucking annoying weirdo. who’d have guessed? it just goes to show that you can be surprised at who you end up loathing after just a few minutes conversation.
she probably felt the same way about me though. she probably thought, “what a rude prick. he barely even commented on all the interesting work stories i regaled him with whenever i stopped to take a breath.”