bad dog (walk)

our idiot dog seriously sliced open a pad on its foot a few days ago so she had to get stitches on it, and now we have to walk her on a leash for the next two weeks. it fucking sucks for both her AND us. leash walks are boring. it also stinks because she needs to keep the bandage clean and dry, which means walking on roads — also boring.

so that all sucks. then on the walk today, we went by a pseudo ditch that runs over someone’s lawn, and i realized just how much i hate to see this.


like this, but across someone’s picture perfect suburban yard

i was looking at it, feeling scornful, when it suddenly dawned on me that i felt much stronger about this ditch than i should. i mean, who cares? who gives a shit about a lawn/ditch on some random person’s yard?

i do, it seems.

and a lot, at that. and i have no idea why. i have no experience with lawn ditches. never had one, never played in one. as a kid, i almost drowned in a drainage culvert in a farmer’s field, which looks sort of similar to what i’m talking about here, but that’s a stretch. so i can’t really think of any good reason why i feel the way i do about lawn ditches. and that made me want to explore the feeling and figure out just why they irritate the shit out of me.

there’s something about seeing long grass laid down by a shallow torrent of water that feels really backwards to me, like ‘this isn’t a place where water should be.’ lawns and grass shouldn’t be swaps or water pathways. it’s weird. it’s unsettling. it’s like seeing a horse in space. the two just don’t go together.


it turns out that if you look up ‘horse in space,’ you’ll find lots of pics. maybe they do go together. what a poor example i chose.

lawn ditches also make me think about people and our stubborn nature, our unwillingness to bend even when we know we’re going to lose that particular battle. nature is telling someone, “i’ve got a lot of water in the winter and this is where i put it,” and that person is responding, “i don’t care. i live in a subdivision and must have a lawn. i’m going to ignore you.” and what does the person get? a soggy fucking lawn that looks like shit. they could at least line their lawn ditch with river rocks or something to make it look more natural.

i guess lawn ditches also remind me of standing water on lawns, which i also loath.


looks great.

i mean, i’m obviously no expert but common sense tells me, this is a problem. flooding in houses is a problem. mould in houses is a problem. water damage is a house killer, and anyone who readily accepts pools of water like this by their house either lacks the sense to put two and two together or they have their head in the sand. it might be hellishly expensive to deal with it but i guarantee you it would cost less than repairing water and mould damage in your home.

the funny thing is that i LOVE fresh water. creeks, streams, rivers, lakes, ponds, even swamps — i love em all. i’d kill for some land with any of those things on it. i’d spend a lot of time just sitting by the water, looking at it. but they’re naturally occurring and remind me of how beautiful nature is, rather than how flat and ugly people tend to make things (like lawns), and how stubborn we can be about making them so.


holy shit, yeah. this makes me feel better.

i also ran into a few annoying people on my walk and they didn’t make me feel any better. one white trash lady was overly friendly and in a really weird way, like she had brain damage or something and couldn’t read social cues, and then she gave me shit because my neighbour’s dog which had followed me wasn’t on a leash. fuck off, lady. call my neighbour and bitch at him about his dog. then just a few minutes later i saw an old white trash lady who i said good morning too, and she didn’t respond. every time i run into that kind of thing, i want to make eye contact and say with some aggression, “i said good morning.” i’m a miserable sod myself, and even i have the courtesy to acknowledge people who say hi. it’s not that hard.

what a lovely day.


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