i just had two horrible nightmares.
in the first one, i dreamed that a friend had bought an old house that looked really cool but gave me the worst feeling when i approached it. it’s the same as most of my nightmares, where nothing bad actually happens and instead, i just sense a powerful, negative, evil force. in this case, the house and property were basically haunted by some malevolent force. i went inside the house so my friend could show me around and i was absolutely terrified, like i was putting my spirit in great peril. i can’t remember how but i managed to make an excuse and get out of the house ASAP and felt better once well away from the property but woke up feeling the same terror i did in the dream house. also, i could hear jenn’s cell phone charger making that weird, super high-pitched whine that is barely audible but incredibly annoying, and i wasn’t sure if it was real or i was losing my mind. i unplugged the charger and it stopped so i hadn’t lost my mind. yet.
i eventually went back to sleep and this time i dreamed of an entire landscape that wasn’t quite possessed by evil but had been ravaged by it. everything was grey, sickly, deformed. the horizon was a mix of dead, flat grey and apocalyptic reds, both dead and dying, and the light from it gave everything an awful haze. it was like during the forest fires last summer when smoke choked out the sunlight and gave the world an orange hue. all the houses and fences were dilapidated, falling apart. it looked like all life was slowly eroding. i dreamed i was at my dad’s property and for some unexplained reason, he had been looking after my chickens. i checked on them and they looked like survivors or children of some nuclear fallout. some of them now had extra legs or heads. their plumage was now dull, what was left anyway. they were emaciated. their eyes were cloudy. i was disgusted by them. but their eggs were even worse. my dad had stopped collecting them (probably because they were obviously no good to eat), and the hutch that they laid in was overflowing with pale, translucent, soft-shelled eggs. through said “shells” i could see some had 3, 4, 5 yokes in them. some had dead chicks with multiple heads. i wanted to both barf and die from this cornucopia of sickness, this abundance of rot my hens had birthed in the hutch.
i went inside the house to ask my dad when the hens had become so sick and fucked up but he acted like nothing was up. him and my step mom had just hired a therapist to help them with their hoarding problem, and inside their house actually looked quite nice and organized for the first time ever. i was like, “better late than never i guess, but it looks like we will all be dead very soon anyway.” i don’t remember him or my step mom reacting at all, and that was it. i woke up feeling disturbed, more concerned about the future than usual. sickened. and now those feelings are still lingering like dream-feelings sometimes do.
our brains sure are weird. i wonder what brought all that on. i think the first one comes from a conversation i just had with spencer about him and julia considering moving to vic, and i think the second dream was inspired by the gross, shell-less slime eggs that plucky (one of my dear hens) has been laying for a few months now. i’m hoping it’s just a phase and she starts laying normal eggs again soon but it may never happen. it’s not a big deal because i like her too much to get rid of her but i sure wish she was healthy and able to contribute like the others.
life. dreams. weird.