enough meathead metal vocals

i’m so fucking sick of the shitty growling vocals that have been dominating extreme metal for the last, oh i don’t know, 15 years? it sucked when it started and it sucks even more now because everyone has had more than enough time to realize that they’re not heavy. they sound like dudes straining to take shits, like they’re bearing down really hard. it also sounds like chubby white guys trying to sound like they’re 300 lbs of solid muscle.

a few examples of the popular bands that are guilty of this lame style are killswitch engage, soilwork, and hatebreed — those bands all suck, and so do any others who share the same vocal style.

actually, now that i mention it, it’s also ridiculous how interchangeable all those singers sound. they’re identical. for angsty, angry men, they’re pretty cookie cutter.

here’s a good example of what i’m talking about. it’s a clip i stumbled across today and the one that got me fired up about this topic. i really like the music in this song because it’s chaotic and heavy, but then the singer shows up, doing his strained yelling, like a constipated bonehead. i also hate how these nimrods hold the mic. they always cover the end of it with their entire hand, they cup it really hard and shove it halfway into their mouths. this is another aesthetic choice i don’t understand. i think it looks stupid. plus it sounds like shit. mics aren’t designed to work like that.

i’ve always preferred my extreme vocals to sound either legitimately throat-shredding, like the singer won’t be able to talk for the next week, or inhuman and otherworldly. those things, to me, are extreme. here’s a good example of both those qualities.

i think the root of the problem here is that dumbasses like to hear other dumbasses trying to sound tough, because they can relate to that. those constipated grunters are catering to all the countless meatheads of the world, and you better believe that the meatheads outnumber us sane folk. but i want to eat worlds and never speak again, so i can’t relate to that dummy shit. i want more from my art, and that’s why i don’t listen to that trailer park rock garbage.


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