goat piss

i just went to a chicken swap with tyrone and marieke. there was lots of chickens and that was all great, i even bought three cute little 6-7 week old hens. that’s very exciting.

what wasn’t exciting was that some guy had brought his juvenile male goat there just for fun. i was petting it when all of a sudden, its weird dick popped out from under its stomach, pointed out to the side, and started spraying piss in all directions. it was absolutely fucking disgusting. to make it worse, the piss got on my lower legs and new, expensive, ETHICALLY MADE flip flops (thank you, kyla!). and to make it even worse, the goat’s owner didn’t react at all. he didn’t say anything even though tyrone, marieke and i were obviously shocked. we were all quite vocal, saying stuff like “whoah, oh my goodness, jesus what is that, how rude,” etc. i think he just didn’t know how to address the situation so he chose to not address it at all. after a little while he sort of nervously stuttered, “he’s, uhhh…(prolonged silence)…he’s a real boy.”


this is honestly what the goat’s dick looked like. it was horrific.

what a fucking dummy. the incident wasn’t a big deal — i mean, it was a big deal, getting goat piss on you is pretty disgusting and i’m sure one of the nicely dressed women there would have had a much stronger reaction than i did, but i just used dish soap and the hose to wash my legs and sandals when i got home — but the way he reacted was so odd and awkward. at the very least, he should have acknowledged it immediately, maybe pulled the goat away from us, apologized, maybe tried to make a joke of it. i think that’s what normal people would do. but i guess normal people don’t bring goats to chicken swaps. what a weird dummy.

i should accept part of the blame for petting the goat in the first place. lesson learned: i’m never petting an unknown goat again.


very cute, but may be satan incarnate. you just never know.


3 thoughts on “goat piss

  1. I guess you live in a rural area. Do you have a farm? Is that why you bought chickens? Or are they pets?

    I live in a very urban area…the only place I see chickens, goats and such is at the zoo!

    1. yes, we have 1 acre and a few animals. i’m adding these hens to my small flock for a total of 8 hens. of all our animals, the chickens are my fave. they’re incredibly stupid, but that makes them very content with even the simplest things. it makes them a joy to watch.

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