banks suck

long ago, i banked with island savings credit union. i was a kid then and didn’t care much about that sort of thing. once i noticed the $10/month they were charging me, i took my money elsewhere. because let’s be clear: banks profit off of the money you keep with them by investing it, so making people pay for that like it’s some sort of privilege is fucking wack. on top of that, i met with ISCU’s financial advisors a few times and they were utterly useless.

so i took my personal banking to coast capital savings, which had free personal savings and chequing accounts, hooray. that was all well until recently but i’ll get to that shortly.

jenn and i kept a joint account with TD for about 7 years and it was mostly fine, except for the US cash accounts which are inaccessible while in the US, rendering those accounts totally fucking useless. but then i contacted TD with a concern i had about what they were investing our money in. i said that it was a serious issue to me and i would be willing to take my money elsewhere if i wasn’t satisfied with their response.

their response was, essentially, “sorry to see you go.” they didn’t even try to fake an attempt at assuaging me, they just opened the door. they did, however, offer a few small details about their investment practices so i emailed them back and asked for some clarification on said details but the only response i got back was, “we can’t talk about that.” so i emailed them once more and asked why they brought it up in the first place if they can’t talk about it. i never heard back.

so i stayed true to my word and closed our joint bank account with TD and moved it to coast capital. i set up all our mortgage and insurance payments and whatnot to come from the new joint account. i felt good about making the switch.

then i got a call from scotia bank (who handles our mortgage) to say that something was wrong on TD’s end and i wouldn’t be able to pay our mortgage from our new account until TD sorted their stuff out. i spoke to TD, they said everything was fine on their end and scotia bank was mistaken. so i called scotia bank back and they said the girl who had called me must have been wrong. everything was fine.


then today i went to pay my credit card online and i noticed that our mortgage payment didn’t come from our joint account. it was taken out of my personal chequing account — coast capital fucked up the forms they gave me when i set up all our new automatic payments.

i shouldn’t be so shocked at how fucking incompetent these giant money-handling agencies are, but i am. it seems like every bank i’ve ever dealt with is basically a car coasting downhill with no driver. the slants and curves of the road seem to keep the car mostly on track, with only the occasional scrape of bushes and small trees. and to them, that is good enough.

and this experience doesn’t even take into account the debacle jenn and i encountered when obtaining a line of credit with scotia bank last summer. that was one stunning, abysmal failure after another. after we finally got it sorted out, we swore that as soon as our mortgage is up for renewal, we will run screaming from scotia bank and never look back.

i guess we’ll end up taking it to coast capital so they can fuck up some important forms for that, too.

in a few years after a few more experiences like this, i’ll probably just end up squirreling all our cash under our mattress like the old timers used to do.


“keep your paws off it, you son of a bitch.”


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