alight

yesterday i saw a girl who was absolutely gorgeous. like, stunning.

afterward, i thought to myself, “i wonder if she’s as kind as she is beautiful.”

then i thought, “i wonder if she’s as interesting as she is beautiful.”

then i thought, “i wonder if she’s as smart as she is beautiful.”

then i thought, “i wonder if she’s as funny as she is beautiful.”

of course she couldn’t possibly be all those things — i’m sure she’d be extremely disappointing if i actually knew the poor girl — but that’s beside the point. what really hit me about this train of thought is that it’s weird that physical attraction is usually the first requirement we look at in potential mates. i mean, i obviously don’t doubt attraction is important, but there are so many other more important things to consider that it seems like it would be a real waste to write someone off over their looks if they aced all those other check boxes.

and i know from experience that it’s possible to learn to find people attractive. i’ve met people that i’ve had zero attraction to, who i have eventually found very attractive after i got to know them well.

and yet i don’t think i could ever convince myself to wholly ignore a potential mates appearance. i could try to justify this and say it’s in our DNA, that we’re programmed to want to fuck our partners in order to procreate, but i don’t think it’s that powerful or ingrained. i think when it comes down to it, we are all probably just surprisingly superficial. like how, given the choice, most of us would rather own a ferrari than a minivan. similarly, i think we’d rather have mates we like to look at, that other people might look at and covet. but vehicles and mates are totally different in that mates supply us with so much more than just transportation. they supply us with complex emotional needs, as well as myriad practical, day-to-day needs — needs that aren’t dependent upon appearances. so it’s odd we still place so much value on appearance. it’s shallow as all hell.

then again, it takes time to get to know someone and figure out if they meet all the various mate criteria, but looks are something we can observe immediately, so in that regard it makes sense that it’s the first test a potential mate must pass. or maybe i’m thinking about it in the wrong way. maybe it’s not that a mate has to pass the appearance test, maybe it’s deeper than just an intuitive urge to fuck that person. maybe it’s more that something in a potential mates appearance or body language indicates something deeper about them, something related to the other more substantial qualities a good mate must possess.

jesus christ, i’m talking myself in circles. i have no idea how i feel about this. it all probably varies from situation to situation anyway so i don’t even know why i’m bothering to give it this much thought. fuck it. i’ll watch windowlicker and have a laugh instead.

 

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