judge a book

yesterday on my way home from work, i saw a giant, shiny, cream-coloured lincoln navigator. it was pulling a giant, shiny wake boat. i thought to myself, “i bet the driver of the navigator is a pudgy, tattooed male, aged 25-40, wearing a ball cap and either aviators or white-rimmed sunglasses.”

i was bang on.

based on these details, i extrapolated that this fella is wealthy (or in a great deal of debt) and likes to flaunt it. and i have found that people who greatly value wealth and enjoy flaunting it are superficial and insecure twats, and insecure people cannot be trusted since they are constantly looking for affirmation wherever they can find it. in the blink of an eye, i had completely written this guy off.

but guess what. i don’t think i’m wrong. i think that probably 95% of the time, you can judge a book by its cover. by noticing small details and looking at what those details most likely indicate, i think it’s pretty easy to get a rough idea of what kind of person you are looking at.

i don’t think that’s being judgemental. i think it’s being analytical and detail-oriented. ok, it’s also being judgemental, but i also don’t give a shit. if i am wrong 5% of the time, that means i’m right often enough to keep a lot of shit rats out of my life, and i’m happy with that. besides, i’ve got enough friends in my life that i don’t have to go sifting through garbage humans in the dire hopes of finding more.

lesson: don’t let your appearance give away any details about who you are. be bland. don’t stand out. disappear into the crowd, never to be heard from again.

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yes, that’s it! now you’ve got it! now no one will know what to make of you.

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