the weather forecast for this week is ‘hot as hell.’ it’s supposed to get up to the mid-30’s by wednesday and thursday. when i saw that, i felt my guts tighten and a lump form in my throat.
i fucking hate the heat. it honestly makes me miserable. i get diarrhea when i’m too hot, i feel anxious, and i sweat the entire day. i spend those days just trying to avoid the sun and heat by staying inside with all the windows and blinds closed. our house doesn’t have air conditioning but by god, if it did i’d keep things at a pleasant 17 degrees the whole summer. i wish i worked in a fucking meat locker on those days. then i could still do something and feel productive, rather than shutting myself in like a freak while feeling sick and worried.
i have no idea why i hate the heat so much. i don’t mind it if i’m going swimming with pals and turning lemons into lemonade but that’s the only time i enjoy it, and you can’t do that EVERY hot day — you have to keep working and keep doing normal daily life stuff so i’m fucked. it makes me crazy that most people seem to love sunny, hot days so much when i can’t understand the appeal, or even function normally in them.
my only hope is to find some people to swim with on wednesday and thursday, or face the reality of my gruesome, human-melting-like-a-candle fate.
or just hide inside like an antisocial old spinster.