obitchuary

i think obituaries are boring. all the life story crap, like“he grew up on a farm in sasketchewan before joining the navy at age 18 and blah blah blah, he will be dearly missed by his eight kids and numerous ex-wives,” is boring as all hell. if people reading it knew the deceased, they probably already know all that history, and for the rest of us who didn’t know them, the info is totally meaningless. it’s not like we suddenly care about every stranger whose obituary we just read so why bother writing all that junk?

i’d like obituaries to just show a recent picture of the deceased, list their cause of death and any gruesome details pertaining to it that i might find entertaining (eg, “ted had always like to gross his wife out but when she discovered his bloated corpse in the bathtub after returning home from a trip, it was as if he’d taken his running joke to whole new level of revulsion and cruelty”), and when they died. that’s all i care about. trim the fat and let’s talk about the interesting stuff.

b3d4cb2e1e7a65cb8d1355a32f4ded11

“it looked like he hadn’t cleaned the tiles in ages, martha.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s