I found this post in my drafts folder. I wrote it last October or so. I’m not sure why I never posted it so I’m posting it now.
Today, Jenn and I went for a hike on Maple Mountain. There was a forest fire there this summer so we wanted to see what the burnt area looked like before anything has had a chance to grow back. It was fascinating, and a little spooky. The burnt bark on the remaining trees was now spongy from the recent rains. Stella was unconcerned with the larger implications and ran around like an idiot, loving every minute of it. For an area so close by, it was a neat and different little outing.
And last week, Jenn and I took Stella for a night walk through the forest trails in our neighbourhood. We hike these trails virtually every day but almost never at night, and it was a completely different experience. There was no moon out that night so it was really dark. Jenn had a headlamp on and it gave the woods a Blair Witch Project vibe. Once we got back onto the road, we saw two white owls perched on the power line overhead, their unflappably (ha) stoic faces staring hard at us. We hear owls around here a lot but don’t see them often, and this was the first time either of us had seen two owls at once. It was crazy how a walk we do all the time was so different from usual.
I like this stuff. I like it when we are able to experience new things in places we are already extremely familiar with. It makes me feel like we are doing a good job of keeping our brains turned on, of looking for and appreciating the subtle changes around us. I’m proud of that.
well, festivus has come and gone. so has xmas. and now we are in the tense period between xmas and new years eve, a weird time that feels kind of like an extended holiday even though everyone is back to work and stores are open for their regular hours. and i feel appropriately tense and weird.
festivus was wonderful. i was so overwhelmed with joy that the next day, i wanted to reach out to everyone i saw the night before and tell them all how much i love and appreciate them. this song came on out of nowhere at the very end of festivus and became a perfect soundtrack to my giddy over-stimulation.
jenn and i slept in late the following day and then spent the afternoon and xmas eve with her parents at their place. it snowed while we walked on the beach, which is no small feat in maple bay. my holiday high continued.
xmas morning was lovely too. i made breakfast for jenn and i, we unwrapped our presents to each other, and we dog walked with matt and chant. it was all one can hope for from xmas. i worked that night, which turned out to be the boiling point for my hatred for my employer but that’s a boring story not worth sharing here, and luckily, hasn’t really affected how i’m feeling now.
what will new years eve hold? will it measure up to the rest of this holiday season? no one knows but i’m still feeling a bit giddy, and looking forward to whatever the night ends up bringing.
although i’m hoping for complete and utter chaos, naturally.
i’m sick of every day and week being recognized as ‘earth day’ or ‘nurse appreciation week’ or some other bullshit. there’s so many of these stupid recognition/appreciation days/weeks now that they’re all meaningless. it seems like there isn’t a day in the year that i’m not supposed to be hugging some dipshit just for doing their job. gee whiz, when it’s the appreciation week for my profession, i just pray that it sneaks by without anyone noticing or saying anything. i don’t need a pat on the back for one day or week out of the year to feel like my job matters. if someone needs that, i think they’ve got some serious self esteem issues, or are way too personally wrapped up in their profession.
and for stuff like earth day, it’s not like it convinces anyone who doesn’t already care about the topic to start caring. it’s not like they see a news article and think, “my god, i’ve been so ignorant for so long. time for me to change my ways.” it’s just a day for people who already give a shit about that stuff to wear a green shirt and chastise people in an annoying 60-yr old busybody housewife way, like “it’s earth day, silly! didn’t you know that? i thought everyone knew! make sure you turn all your lights off for an hour tonight.” what lasting change is actually created on that day? nothing measurable, i’m sure.
i think all appreciation/recognition days should be wiped out, or we should just dedicate all of time as the ‘appreciation of all things epoch.’ that would certainly simplify things, and wouldn’t leave plumbers or cats or plants or air or infinite space or abstract things like thoughts and feelings or anything else out in the cold — they must all be recognized for their important roles in our lives!!!
blech. i hate everything.