“a strong voice coming from the space”

a while back, i made a few lists of my favourite songs of all time (they can be found here and here). i have another one to add to the list: jabdah, by koto.

specifically, the 7″ remix (seen above) is my favourite version, largely because of how it starts so strong, right out of the gate.

an old friend of mine introduced me to koto a year ago. he sent me this link as a half joke along with a bunch of other “serious” music but this was the only thing that stuck out to me. i loved the synth sounds, the melodies, the flow of the song, the guy’s keyboard dance moves, his karate gi, the space station stuff going on in the background…all of it. it was sort of like babymetal in that i knew it was silly and i shouldn’t like it so much, but i did, and i still do.

something else about jabdah that i loved was how it made me feel. it makes me feel really fucking happy, like i just don’t care anymore about pollution or politics or any of that boring shit. at first i thought it was just because it’s a happy, upbeat song, but after listening to it many times in the last year and giving it much thought, i realized recently that the reason it makes me feel so good is that it literally makes me feel like a kid again when i hear it. so i wondered why it would make me feel like a kid, and i realized that it was the combination of the various synth sounds with the melodies — together they remind me of other 80’s synth music i liked as a kid, particularly danny elfman’s gratitude and harold faltermeyer’s axel f, both from the beverly hills cop soundtrack.

now, this element has a few layers to it: like most kids, i didn’t worry about all the stuff i worry about now. life was simpler and happier then so hearing music that reminds me of that happy time makes me feel good. that part is obvious. but going further down the rabbit hole, i also remember listening to the beverly hills cop soundtrack while on a road trip with my dad to drumheller, alberta to see dinosaur bones. i remember camping with my dad and brother, loving the tyrrell museum, eating rocky road cereal (a once in a lifetime treat from my dad), and visiting our relatives who had pinball machines in their basement — all things i really liked and have since associated with the beverly hills cop soundtrack.

so when i hear jabdah, its overall sound reminds me of the beverly hills cop soundtrack, which reminds me of that great road trip with my dad and brother, which reminds me of how good it felt to be a carefree child doing fun things. that’s why i like it so much.

well, that and the fact that jabdah‘s just a great song.

i like unraveling these mysteries of my own mind. i’m like my own therapist sometimes.


summer’s end

i think i write about this every year, how i feel like summer is already coming to a close when it’s only hardly begun. it’s a wonderful feeling though so i don’t feel bad revisiting it.

today it hit me while i was walking the dogs on cobble hill mountain. i walked over a rocky face that was covered in yellow arbutus leaves. they crinkled and snapped as i stepped on them. the ground was dappled with sunlight and the temperature was cool and pleasant. i was suddenly reminded of some of my favourite memories, of thanksgiving and halloween songs and decorations in my elementary school class room, of the giant maple tree and its piles of leaves in the school yard, of the grey skies and crisp air of those days. the feelings associated with those things are tough to beat. i feel like they are integral to the adult i have become. it’s funny how such small, vague details from childhood can have such a lasting, shaping effect on us.

summer is fine and all but after the summer solstice, i really just embrace the fact that each day is just a little bit shorter than the last, that each day is a step closer to the images i see in my childhood memories of fall in shawnigan — a step closer to maximum darkness.

i love watching summer die.

i don’t even like this song that much but somehow it does manage to somewhat capture the feeling i’m talking about. i’m sure ben will be pleased. it was between this and as the seasons grey by testament. i like that one more but this one just seems to fit better.

adults suck at friendship

i had an interesting conversation with someone at a party the other night. they were saying how they have friends that they have largely stopped hanging out with because of their different parenting styles. they were lamenting how hard it is to maintain friendships as adults when seemingly insignificant things, like parenting styles, end up affecting the friendships.

i agree with this person. i’ve noticed similar things, like how politics in particular really affect friendships, and i hate it. when i was a kid, all i needed to be pals with someone was a single mutual interest — transformers, building forts, super nintendo, whatever. back then, we just didn’t care about big, heavy issues or what the other person thought about those issues, and that made friendship way easier. ignorance really was bliss.


my god, life was good then.

that’s sad. it sucks that our adult friendships are so fragile, so tenuous, and it sucks that we are so lousy at accepting differences among our friends. i wonder why this is. is it reasonable, should i be ok with it? were childhood friendships easier because we were simpler creatures then? are adult friendships emotionally deeper and more complex than just a partner to play lego with? do we need people we relate or connect to on more levels in order for that deeper, more complex relationship to endure? or are we just really insecure and petty, needing to surround ourselves with ‘yes men’ who will nod and say “i agree 100%” with everything we say?

probably a bit of all those things. i suppose it makes sense but it still makes me feel like a small person.