long nights

Played a show with my Misfits cover band last night. It was our third show since last Halloween. It was really good, definitely our best performance yet. I had been really nervous in the days leading up to it because I’m still new to drumming and would struggle occasionally with two of our songs in particular. But I played pretty well at the show, and I was really happy with our overall performance. There were a couple mistakes but we recovered well from them and that’s as satisfying as playing a song well in the first place, oddly enough.

I still have some mixed feelings about the show though. There were lots of young people there for the first two bands so I was like “wow, so cool to see so many young people at an all ages show.” But most of those young people disappeared when the third band played. That band had hardly anyone in there watching so I felt a little bad for them. I had seen lots of Misfits shirts before we played so I imagined the place would fill up again when we played, and we definitely had more people watching us than the third band but not as many as those first two bands, and the kids watching those bands were really into it, dancing around and shit, probably because they are like 16 and excited and overstimulated because it’s all new and exciting to them. The people who were into us are not 16 so they show enjoyment differently. That’s something I understand but still struggle to apply in real life — like, if I don’t see people headbanging or jumping around, I feel like they can’t really be digging it, even though I’m definitely part of the “I’m thoroughly enjoying this but I don’t like headbanging or jumping around anymore” crowd myself. It’s weird, it’s something I need to work on really grasping and accepting.

Despite that, I still felt like I could feel the sedate audience appreciating what we were doing, and that made me happy. Plus me being happy with our performance is paramount, that is easily the most important aspect of every show, every band practice. It just feels good to make a bunch of noise that I love, with good pals. So that aspect was immensely satisfying.

I also feel really relieved that this show is over, that I don’t have to stress about it anymore, dealing with advance tickets and worrying about fucking songs up, etc. But at the same time I’m sad that it’s over, because it turned out to be a lot of fun. Just the usual post-event melancholy, I suppose.

We have another show in two weeks. That one is at Kate’s friend’s house party. I’m not nervous about it now but I bet I will be as we get closer to it. Right now I’m just pumped for it. Seems like it might be a good show for us in that there will be more Misfits fans who know the songs and are pumped to sing along or whatever. Plus I’ll have more bubble tea options in Vic, lol.

Other notable details from last night:

• The venue was weird, very old school Duncan hippie/stoner/art freak collective vibe. Not my scene but I’m very happy it exists.
• After the show, we had packed all the gear into the car. Only two seats left. Ben was going to walk to his airbnb but Jenn and I wanted to give him a ride. Jenn suggested I drive him there, then come back and get her. There were still people at the venue for her to hang out with so I thought it was a good idea. Drove Ben the five minutes or so to his place, came back. Jenn was pissed when I got back and I didn’t understand why but she was pretty drunk so I didn’t worry about too much at the time and figured we’d sort it out today. We got McDonald’s on the way home and Jenn was exceedingly impatient in the drive thru lineup, cursing the night staff and the people ahead of us alike, even though it wasn’t taking too long at all. When we got our food she was snarfling down the fries and said something like “I…I am me. Me fries.” That’s not a direct quote but it was along those lines, and I understood that she meant she was very hungry and very glad to be eating the fries. She was much happier after that. This morning I asked why she had been so mad when I picked her up and she said everyone else left the second I drove away with Ben, and she was left alone in the dark parking lot in a fairly sketchy area. Plus in addition to being drunk she was also on mushrooms and time was passing exceedingly slowly (which also explains her impatience in the McDonald’s drive thru) so she thought I had been gone with Ben for 45 minutes or something, and we off talking metal or looking at metal shirts or sitting cross-legged on a floor somewhere listening to vinyl records. So she walked out to the street and sat under a light on the sidewalk so at least she’d be visible and less likely to be assaulted, and felt like she waited there an eternity for me. I feel bad now because that was definitely not an ideal situation for her to be left in, but we didn’t know it was going to go like that so it’s just kind of a ‘live and learn’ thing. Also, some pretty funny moments came out of it so I’m glad we have those memories now.

cow ex 2022, cowichan valley getting too busy, and a good parent tears her son a new one

Jenn and I went to the Cowichan Exhibition again this year, and it was nuts from start to finish. The amount of traffic coming in, the parking situation, the kids running amok throughout, the lineups at every single food vendor, how many of the food vendors were out of food, the lack of space and how people kept physically bumping into us, etc. I’m happy for the Cow Ex because it has often struggled with attendance over the years, but for us, I was bummed because this year was simply not enjoyable. I felt guilty about how annoyed I was but didn’t want to piss and moan about it to Jenn and ruin our night (or make it worse, I guess), so when she said everything that I was thinking, I breathed a sigh of relief. We left the Cow Ex and went to Boston Pizza, which we like to do as a sad, funny, ironic thing — we went there for xmas eve dinner last year on a whim and it was so sad and funny, and this was along those lines so it felt right again. We got wings and bitched about how busy the south island has become, and how the the Cow Ex and Cobble Hill Fair are just a few more indicators of how many more people live here now.

Then this morning I read a blog by another local person I like, and what do you know, she complained about the exact same thing at this year’s Cobble Hill Fair. Well, she was mostly pissed about how poorly behaved many of the kids there were, running wild with parents not doing shit about it. Anyway, it was interesting to see someone else independently complain about similar stuff.

Oh that reminds me of a detail from the Cow Ex that I wanted to mention: as we were leaving the midway, we noticed a lot of drunk/high people sitting on the grass on the hill overlooking the midway. We stopped there to see what their view was like, and it really was awesome. The midway looked so fucking cool from there, what with all the lights and rides and loud music and screaming voices from the rides. I was happy for these people watching it from this great vantage point, and bet it was even cooler to see it stoned. While we were checking that out and Jenn took pictures, a family was walking up the path from the midway and the mom got pissed at her son. “IF YOU DON’T START WALKING NICELY, I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR BIKE AWAY FOR A WEEK. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND AND START WALKING NICELY, OR THAT’S IT.” The little boy was defiant and wouldn’t answer her so she pressed him, and I couldn’t hear how the situation ended but regardless, I was happy to see at least one parent there being firm, telling their kid to behave, and threatening them with a real punishment that (it at least sounded like) she was going to stick to — she was so mad at the kid, I couldn’t imagine her not following through with it. Anyway, it was funny and I felt bad for the kid but good overall because that’s what kids need when they are dickheads. I think more parents need to realize that stopping bad behaviour is a necessary part of parenting, that if you allow your kid to be an asshole, you are by extension also being an asshole.

people I see: bubble tea woman

Undisclosed restaurant in the Cowichan Valley. Obese woman, approximately 40 year old, takes my order at the front. I order two bubble teas. The woman tells me they are out of the tapioca for bubble tea. I’ve run into this several times recently so I’m instantly annoyed, say no thanks and walk out. But once outside, I remember a drink I had last month that was like bubble tea but minus the tapioca, and was excellent, so I go back in and say “you know what, I’ll get em even without tapioca.” I order two flavours but the woman doesn’t understand one of the flavours at all. “What?” she says. “Huh? What?” I repeat it several times, then even point it out on the menu. “Oh, pina colada,” she says, although that’s not what I pointed at and sounds nothing at all like what I’m saying. “No, mango pineapple,” I repeat once again. After these half dozen attempts she finally sees it and understands. She rings me in and charges full price despite the bubble tea having no bubbles. She then begins the epic task of making the bubble tea. I text Bill and kill time on my phone. After 5 minutes, I look at the woman and see her hustling about like frazzled people do, moving a lot and quickly, like they’re in a big hurry but not actually accomplishing anything. The cups she has pulled out are still empty. Another customer comes in, she glances at them then goes back to her big show of doing nothing at all. Eventually she says, “I’ll be with you in just a minute.” A minute later she leaves the still empty cups and takes this customer’s order. Goes back to the cups, then another customer comes in, same thing occurs. At this point I notice her fast fashion pants have a weird little built-in belt thing at the back but it’s come undone so both ends are hanging down her butt. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she’s just new here, but I decide this woman is a complete wreck. I can picture the kind of house she lives in, what her life is like. After over 10 minutes, she finally gives me the drinks and I realize that bubble tea without bubbles is just not worth it, and I should absolutely avoid coming here for bubble tea again. I’m glad this woman is working when so many others are opting not to but that’s not a free pass for anything and everything.

Cowichan Exhibition 2021

Last night we went to the Cowichan Exhibition, aka the local fall fair. I was really excited for it because this summer was a particularly hot, grueling one and I was looking forward to saying goodbye to it and welcoming autumn. Besides that, fall fairs always feel so good, so wistful. They remind me of being a kid, going back to school, seeing friends again, and all the excited emotions that go along with those things.

And the Cow Ex didn’t disappoint. We picked up Alex and headed there at 6 pm. Arrived in time to catch some of the tractor pull. Alex knew all the farmers involved in it, of course. Went up and walked around the barns and main hall to see all the produce, baking, art, etc entries. Bumped into an old friend who I hadn’t see in 20+ years, that was nice. Found some expensive but fantastic cupcakes from a local baker, bought $35 worth of them. Alex waited in line for a long time for curry, and just before she ordered the guy shouted “sorry, no more curry” to everyone. Poor Alex. Jenn and I got corn dogs and poutine from the midway and holy fucking hell, they were amazing. It was everything I had hoped it would be. Jenn bought lemonade which is the weirdest thing. Every other food at the fair is 100% trash but the lemonade is, shockingly, not that bad. I watched them make it, it was one juiced lemon, three or four pumps of a syrup, ice, and water. I don’t know what was in the syrup but it wasn’t much sugar because the shit actually tasted like lemons. The crazy thing is it’s one of Jenn’s fave things about going to the fair. I always forget they have it, and can’t believe anyone buys it when they could buy pop instead, but it was selling like crazy. I don’t understand.

Another weird thing about the lemonade is that it was only available in big plastic ‘souvenir cups’ which get you slightly cheaper refills. I don’t understand why they don’t just use the cheapest cups available, it would surely cut down on overhead costs and increase overall profits. There’s either something I’m missing or maybe, just maybe, the carnies don’t make the wisest financial choices.

Anyway, then Jenn and Alex got drinks in the beer garden and basically slammed them. Alex is always on a mission, she likes to keep moving. It was too bright in there anyway so I was fine with that. Went down to the midway, the kids and teens were at a full simmer. So many gross youth doing all manners of gross youth stuff. All so overstimulated, acting fucking stupid. It’s awful but wonderful at the same time. It makes me happy for them because although it’s disgusting, I can’t help but be happy for them, knowing what a great time they are having. We played some midway games, shot some cups over and won a stuffed narwhal for Stella. Threw darts, won a stupid plush wand that I wish we had left with the carnie. Saw one particular carnie who I couldn’t handle, she was probably still in her 20s but looked like she was in her 50s. She would have been beautiful if not for the life choices she has made thus far. Everything about her was tragic, so sad. I couldn’t stand watching her, had to look away and keep moving. I was terrified she might see us and start talking to us. Got lucky and dodged that bullet. I paid $5 to throw one basketball at a hoop, missed by a mile, gave up then. We wanted caramel apples but there were none. We asked the carnie if they were making any and she was quite annoyed and just said “we’re making candy apples right now.” Which didn’t answer if they were going to make caramel ones, or when they would be available. We saw the caramel melting in the boiler so we waited for 5, maybe 10 minutes, but then we checked the boiler again and the caramel was still nowhere near melted so we abandoned hope. We settled for mini-donuts which were a great consolation prize.

By that point we had done all the things we wanted to do. On our way out we walked past the Johnny Cash tribute performer who sounded absolutely nothing like Cash. I’ve heard better impressions of Cash at random karaoke nights. But I figure that’s par for the small town fall fair circuit so I didn’t really mind. We got in the car, closed the doors, and then the heavens opened up and started shitting rain before we’d even started the car. The timing was incredible. I hope the rain didn’t ruin the night for all the gross kids and teens who were still whooping it up at the Cow Ex. It’s been a shitty year and a half and I want them to experience all the gross joys of being a young horny white trash youth at the fair. No one should be deprived of that.

adventures in grocery shopping

^{Secret’s out, I’m an insane graphic artist}

Today I went grocery shopping at the local grocery store. I usually only go there for one or two items because I like shopping at Superstore in Duncan — SS is gross and funny, the people watching is second to none, they have everything, it’s cheap, they have the best selection of organic stuff that I’ve found (surprising but true), and all their organic stuff is in one aisle so I don’t have to run around the entire store to get all my shit.

But today I didn’t have anything else to do in Duncan and didn’t want to drive there just for groceries so I thought it was a good time to try shopping here like the humans do. Well, it sucked. Everything was expensive as all hell, big lack of organic stuff and spread out all over the store, didn’t have a bunch of the shit I wanted, lack of selection in the stuff I needed, tiny cramped aisles so me and everyone else there were perpetually in each other’s way — it was like one big 20-minute long “excuse me, sorry, pardon me” followed by awkward grocery cart navigating.

I’m glad I tried grocery shopping in a ‘normal’ place and know what it’s like now but fuck me, I’m never doing that again if I can avoid it. I’m Superstore Cowichan for life now.

please let the sun burn out

So far, we’ve had a cool, overcast June in the Cowichan Valley. And while we had a few stupid hot days and virtually zero rain in May, a lot of that month was cool too.

Thank heavens. Every year, the summer weather seems to start earlier and last for longer, the forest fires grow larger and do more damage, and droughts become more severe. I find summer to be the most frightening, depressing season because of this stuff. Every time we have another hot, sunny day, all I can think about is my escape plan in the event a forest fire forces us out of our home, and I wonder if our water is going to run out this year. For the last few years, the city has been trucking water in to fill our reservoir so if not for that, our taps already would have run dry. It’s alarming as all hell.

And yet, my co-workers all clamour for the hot weather. Just yesterday, one was moaning that it’s too cold, we need some hot sun. I thought, “are you insane? Would you really trade water in your taps and a home safe from a raging fire for a fucking tan?” I can’t understand it.

In these bleak and grim times, the prelude to mankind’s downfall, I take solace in the small victories that postpone the terror and chaos for at least one more day. If I can finish my life without having to witness that shit, I’ll die a happy camper. Let the sun worshippers battle to the death over the last drops of filthy, polluted water after I’m gone. I’ll happily take grey skies from here on out.

Great tans, though.

i don’t feel

i don’t feel much like blogging lately. i think it’s because i was blogging a lot for the last few weeks and burned myself out on it. for the last several days whenever i have checked in here, i’ve felt bored and annoyed, like i was just here out of some sense of obligation.

of course, that’s no fun so i’m making a point to blog less until such time as it starts feeling less forced.

however, there are a few things i want to get off my chest before receding into the abyss once again.

#1. i saw in the news that comedian kathy griffin posted a photo of herself holding donald trump’s bloody head. i don’t really care about this either way, but then i saw that old rocker ted nugent called her picture “downright vulgar, obscene and a genuine variation of a death threat.”

this is coming from the same guy who said barack obama could “suck his machine gun” and hilary clinton was a “worthless bitch” who could “ride one of his guns into the sunset.”

what a fucking hypocrite. it seems like lots of politically active people want to say incendiary things, mock people who take offense and call them “snowflakes,” and wave a flag for freedom of speech — only to cry foul when someone with a different opinion says something similarly inflammatory. it’s a bunch of bullshit. everyone should get some thicker skin, go ahead and talk shit, and not take offense when anyone else talks shit. then i’d never have to hear crowds of hypocrites calling each other snowflakes.

#2. last night i saw a well-dressed middle-aged guy, gassing up his very nice all-wheel drive volvo. his car had an “i [heart] vancouver island” sticker on it, and one of those annoying thule roof rack-mounted cargo boxes. he clearly thought he was a hardcore islander.

you know you’re a wannabe outdoor enthusiast when…

then he tossed an empty plastic jug of windshield cleaner in the trash can and drove off. i wanted to say, “i see by your car, sticker, and cargo box you’re a real outdoorsy type, so perhaps you’d be interested to know that plastic like the jug you just tossed out is being found by the ton in teeny, tiny pieces throughout the guts of fish and birds in even the most remote regions of earth. since you’re so rugged and adventurous, i thought maybe you’d like to help preserve what’s left of our rotting world by recycling that fucking jug instead of tossing it carelessly in the trash.” but instead, like a coward, i said nothing, and now i hate myself as much as i hate him.

#3. i have been thinking lately that when i’m at my most depressed, i wish i would just die and get the shit over with. conversely, when i’m at my happiest, i wish i would die so as to go out on a high note. i basically think there is never a bad time to hop off of this ride. i mentioned this to riley and he responded that this philosophy should be written in a breezy large print bestseller and promoted by oprah. i thought that was funny.

#4. i went into a lee’s famous chicken and then a tim horton’s yesterday to get junk food for a wedding party. both establishments were filled with the most wretched human vermin: hunchbacked, confused white trash; toothless drunks; mute yet incredibly rude and dismissive ESL students. it occurred to me that perhaps bill and i should go for dinner at lee’s chicken and then wash it down with a double double and some tim bits sometime, and soak in this rich cultural experience that the cowichan valley has to offer.

over and out.

fuck ’30 seconds outdoor cleaner’ and every other bullshit easy clean method

i just saw a commercial for this shit.

top secret: it’s just bleach

it says it’s super easy, just spray it on algae, mold, whatever, and then rinse it off. so easy! and it’s biodegradable and environmentally friendly!

…just put the pets away when you use it, don’t use it near swimming pools, and don’t use it near drinking water. that’s according to their FAQ. but it’s still totally green.

horse shit.

i wanted to clean the siding on our house last year but didn’t want to use gallons of bleach-like chemicals like this 30 seconds shit. i did lots of searching online for tips but there were so many contradictory opinions — use bleach/don’t use bleach, use a power washer/don’t use a power washer, spray this crap on a let it sit for a day but only if it’s really sunny and hot out, etc — that in the end, i wound up hiring a guy that my in-laws recommended. he turned out to be awesome. he was really informative, did it faster than i could dream of doing it myself, charged way less than i imagined, and guess what he used.

nothing but water and a really long brush.

“Washing balcony glass safely and effectively using 100% pure water is not only safe on the environment – it’s safe on your property, and our window cleaning professionals.” — fuck yeah.

he said there was no substitute for elbow grease. i fell in love with him instantly, obv.

so let walmart keep their toxic cleaners that make false claims about being 100% safe. if they can melt mold and algae in seconds, you can bet your ass you wouldn’t want to drink them. i’m getting that same guy to come clean our house again this year.

btw, the guy who cleaned our house was named chris and his company is called window viper. i highly recommend him.

fuck sunlight/summer fun

went to the fish ladders on the koksilah river today with a good group. me, jenn, calli, mark, dana, rachel, amanda, matt, greg, rid, spencer, and julia. i think this was probably the earliest in the summer we’ve ever gone and it was still fantastic. the pool wasn’t in full sun until about 2 but it was dynamite after that. i brought my thrift store swim goggles and checked fish mania out. standing under the little waterfall and looking out while underwater was really cool, and the rock formations that lead away from the waterfall to the deepest part of the pool are really pretty too. the water was cold but it was hot as all hell in the sun so it was perfect. the fish ladders are one of my fave places on the whole planet. i’ve said a few times lately that it’s the kind of place you would read about in lonely planet while on vacation, hike out to and think “HOLY FUCK THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE I’VE EVER SEEN” and take a million pictures, but because we live here and have gone there a bunch of times we can end up taking it for granted. i love it though and actually do believe it’s one of the most beautiful places in the whole world i’ve ever seen. i could sit there for hours just looking around and dipping my ass in the water, going under the waterfall, jumping off the tall rock occasionally. so glad we’ve started hitting it a few times each summer in the last few years, it deserves it.

got home and brought in the laundry from the line, one of my favourite tasks. for the most part, i hate summer sun. it’s so fucking unforgiving, just scorching to be in for more than a few seconds. however, i love morning and evening summer sun, when the temperature has dropped and the sun gives off the perfect amount of warmth. that’s just a jim dandy time. so bringing in the laundry tonight in the cool air and warm sun was wonderful. it felt like an old memory, like i was living a moment i’ve seen in a faded photograph from my dad’s old photo albums or something like that.

jenn’s going to burn in the forest for the weekend. i’m working for 5 days straight while she’s away, and going to see the band the cult on friday with kristina at fucking ‘rock the shores’. never thought i’d support such a horribly lame loser rock fest but the cult are playing and i’ve been nuts about them since i heard ‘electric’ back in 2005 or so. they totally believe in rock n’ roll, 100%. you can hear it in their quintessential rock riffs and ian astbury’s “oh yeah yeah yeeeaaahhh OW whoah yeah now come on” interjections. they’re serious about that kind of stuff, and i love that. no irony to them at all. that’s ballsy and awesome. going to watch them and then turn around and hightail it out of that shit hole. really pumped for it.