please let the sun burn out

So far, we’ve had a cool, overcast June in the Cowichan Valley. And while we had a few stupid hot days and virtually zero rain in May, a lot of that month was cool too.

Thank heavens. Every year, the summer weather seems to start earlier and last for longer, the forest fires grow larger and do more damage, and droughts become more severe. I find summer to be the most frightening, depressing season because of this stuff. Every time we have another hot, sunny day, all I can think about is my escape plan in the event a forest fire forces us out of our home, and I wonder if our water is going to run out this year. For the last few years, the city has been trucking water in to fill our reservoir so if not for that, our taps already would have run dry. It’s alarming as all hell.

And yet, my co-workers all clamour for the hot weather. Just yesterday, one was moaning that it’s too cold, we need some hot sun. I thought, “are you insane? Would you really trade water in your taps and a home safe from a raging fire for a fucking tan?” I can’t understand it.

In these bleak and grim times, the prelude to mankind’s downfall, I take solace in the small victories that postpone the terror and chaos for at least one more day. If I can finish my life without having to witness that shit, I’ll die a happy camper. Let the sun worshippers battle to the death over the last drops of filthy, polluted water after I’m gone. I’ll happily take grey skies from here on out.


Great tans, though.


finding myself through dish washing

more talk about washing dishes. brace yourselves.

1 – when i have dinner at someone else’s house, i like to do the dishes afterward not only to help out and reciprocate their kindness but also because i want to avoid the awkwardness of drying the dishes and having no idea where to put them. trying to help out but requiring ample assistance when doing so is a horrible, pathetic thing.

on a similar note, it’s funny how good i feel about helping clean up at get togethers because i used to absolutely loathe it. the fact that i was soon going to feel obligated to help out always cast a gloom over whatever fantastic meal the host was graciously providing me. oh yes, i was incredibly, ridiculously lazy and selfish, and i am still ashamed of it. i was the same way with thank you letters after christmas. my parents would be on my ass to write to uncle bill and aunt lois and the various other mystery relatives who kindly sent money every year despite having never met me (at least as far as i could remember), but i couldn’t have given less of a shit about thanking them back then. the worst part is that the war of attrition with my parents sometimes ended with me winning, not writing any thank you letters. it’s awful. i’m so embarrassed. it might be residual guilt from those thankless years that drives me to try to be more vocal about my gratitude now.

2 – when i wash the dishes, i no longer fill the sink with dish water. instead, i fill the largest pot or mixing bowl and use that for my dish water. it probably uses less than 1/4 of the water of the sink. i started doing that a few years ago when we were put on severe water restrictions due to drought and it’s stuck with me since. i’m proud of this method because it’s super simple yet very effective.

taking it one step further, when i’m finished washing dishes i can take the pot or mixing bowl outside and water the fruit trees and ornamental plants with the stuff. marion showed me that part, bless her eco-friendly heart.

i must be really thin on material these days.

spring a ding ding

lately i’ve heard a handful of people say stuff like, “holy hell, when are we going to get some warm weather??” as if they expect beach season to begin in april. comments like that lead me to believe that the last three or four years of droughts and heat waves have warped peoples sense of seasons to the point that they now expect to jump straight from winter into summer.

that bums me out. i like having a normal spring, with cool days that can be sunny and warm one second and pissing rain the next. i like it because, even though i hate that kind of inconsistent weather, it means we are that much closer to avoiding yet another drought this year. i’ll take rain in april and may in exchange for decent water levels and less forest fires in july and augst. i mean, shit — a few years ago we had a stubborn forest fire just a kilometer or two from our fucking house because the summer had been so damn dry and hot. that was really scary. the real, legitimate terror inspired by that kind of event is not worth the luxury of tanning in april.

so yeah. there isn’t a damn thing wrong with the spring we’re having on vancouver island so far. everyone can stop complaining about it, and find something else to complain about that i can then complain about.

sweep before you mop, you bastards

i work with some folks that love to mop and hate to sweep, and it drives me up the wall. it seems like common sense that doing so would just create a bunch of mud. i’ve even had conversations about this with people but they outright deny that what i’m saying makes any sense. they just yell, “it’s cleaner!” or say, “if you don’t like it, you do it your way.” and guess what, i do. and it looks a hell of a lot better. no streaks of filth, no spots of dried mud and sand.

what’s even worse is when some of my co-workers insist on spraying the garage floor with a hose for a half hour instead of sweeping it for 5 minutes. DURING WATER SHORTAGES. holy doodle, as if wasting all that water because you’re too lazy to push a broom isn’t bad enough, doing it when water levels are low is ludicrous. i think people should be forced take guided tours of municipal water plants, reservoirs, etc during droughts so they see something that clearly illustrates to them why we all need to change our wasteful habits, pronto.


i can forgive it when a cute bear wastes water but every person that does it is a dickhead.

cull ’em all

humans cull various animals when they overrun areas, become rife with diseases, and generally get in the way of the things we want to do, yet we don’t employ that same strategy on ourselves. that’s hypocritical. considering the food and water shortages we are seeing our ballooning population and appetites cause in numerous parts of the world, the growing strength of common human illnesses like simple colds and flu viruses, and the rampant environmental damage we consistently cause (be it from fracking, burning coal, nuclear disasters, or otherwise), we’re clearly a massive scourge to this planet. i certainly don’t see why we shouldn’t be reining our own global populations in like we do with other creatures on this planet.



what’s really ironic about this is that the small scale damage caused by commonly culled species, like deer and coyote, obviously can’t hold a candle to the global devastation we’re guilty of. shit, we’re even polluting space with countless abandoned satellites. check out this neato gif that illustrates just how much junk we’ve got floating around up there.


i’d like to see a coyote try to pull off this level of harm.

i’m not delusional though. i’m not holding my breath for anyone to say, “you’re right, buddy. we consume, destroy, and leave far more waste than any other creature on the planet, and there’s way too many of us. time to thin the herd. let the human slaughter begin.” that’s ok. i’m confident that all the flus and noroviruses that are already killing people will continue growing stronger until they become full-blown epidemics. then i’ll finally be able to breathe sigh of relief, even if it’s my last one and it’s more of a cough due to cold.

hell in an overflowing handbasket

here i go again, reading the news and getting upset. this is becoming an unpleasant trend.

today i learned that by 2025, 1 in 5 adults on the planet will be obese.

and this, amidst food shortages, droughts, and monsanto controversies.

i know there are lots of fun facts behind the obesity epidemic, like ‘poor people eat garbage food because it’s one of the few luxuries they can afford,’ and that to truly treat the problem we must get to the root of these issues, but i just don’t give a shit sometimes.

get self-actualized, self-empowered, or whatever you want to call it. take responsibility for your miserable fucking life. be aware of why you do things, and change stuff if you give a shit about it. but don’t blame you being fat on financial or social inequality. that’s only a small piece of the puzzle. you and your personal choices are a much larger piece (no pun intended).


$10 says they’re not eating a salad.

on a happier note, i was just listening to some new music. i gave several things spins, and didn’t like any of it. i thought, “i must be in a bad mood.” but then i put on a live version of type o negative’s my girlfriend’s girlfriend, and i fucking loved it. still great after all these years. i actually like this version more that the album one. i love how steele sings the “walking hand in hand down king’s highway-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee-ay-ee/two for one today” line. beautiful.

so there. i’m not just purely miserable. i’m miserable AND most everything sucks. at least i have type o.

can’t do nothing no more without feeling terrible

i just learned how to make my own rice milk. turns out it’s fucking easy: cook a cup of rice, blend it up really good with 4 cups of water. ta da! i’m really happy to learn that it’s so easy. why? because i’ve been feeling guilty as all hell for drinking almond milk for the last month or so.


almonds are great — for fueling self-loathing

milk had been hurting my guts recently so i’d started drinking almond milk instead, and it’s been groovy — tasty, and no pain. but i had a vague memory of reading that it takes tons of water to grow almonds, and that was giving me sweaty palms every time i bought almond milk. was my consumer taste contributing to california’s multi-year long, record-setting, godawful drought?

i finally took a deep breath and looked it up, and it was as bad as i thought: 4 L of water to make a single almond. that’s a lot! and how many almonds go into making a 2 L carton of almond milk? it’s tough to find consistent answers but the lowest number i saw was 16 — 16 almonds. that’s at least 64 L of water to make just 2 L of almond milk. meanwhile, california (which produces over 80% of the worlds almonds) is drying up.


my taste for almond milk did this

this shit keeps me up at night. almost everything we do in this world makes me feel guilty for even living. we’re sucking this planet dry of any and all resources, and we’re filling the empty spaces back up with garbage. it makes me want to live like a monk and use less and less. pretty soon i’ll become an ascetic.


then i’ll be happy

but until i reach that point, i’m really happy that at least i’ll be able to drink my milk substitute feeling just a little less horrible.

until i look up how much water it takes to grow 1 cup of rice.