fuck “fuck cancer”

in the last 6 months or so, i’ve noticed “fuck cancer” on bumper stickers and in youtube comments. i hate it. i think the worst is when it’s expanded on redundantly, like “fuck cancer. seriously, fuck you, cancer.” that just adds a lame hipster spin on it.

why do i hate the expression? for a few reasons. first, it strikes me as a wannabe redneck thing. the only people who would sport a bumper sticker that boldly says ‘fuck’ are people who want to be perceived as rednecks (i believe that most true rednecks don’t feel the need to advertise their lifestyle in the way that wannabe rednecks do), and the only thing worse than truly ignorant people is people trying to be ignorant.

second, i don’t like seeing it on a bumper sticker because ‘fuck’ is still a word that is not publicly acceptable. i don’t think it makes sense to make an exception for that word just because it’s being picked up by a cause that people are sympathetic to. you may as well start making bumper stickers that say “fuck world hunger,” “fuck pollution,” “fuck rape,” “fuck slavery,” “fuck racism”…the list goes on. are we suddenly going to allow the public use of ‘fuck’ as long as we’re talking about causes people are generally supportive of? of course, it should go without saying that i believe branding any words as taboo is ridiculous, but that’s beside the point. my point is the hypocrisy of this particular usage.

third, i think we need to look deeper into the issue, like why cancer is so prevalent now. i think we would find that the reason everyone is getting cancer is because we have created a world full of carcinogenic shit — plastic, radiation, UV rays, pollution, pesticides. since the problem is actually all our own fault, we shouldn’t be saying “fuck cancer” — we should really be saying, “fuck the human race for making cancer such an epidemic. seriously, fuck people.”

paradoxically, that’s a rallying cry i can fully get behind.


oooh, so edgy, so original.


cull ’em all

humans cull various animals when they overrun areas, become rife with diseases, and generally get in the way of the things we want to do, yet we don’t employ that same strategy on ourselves. that’s hypocritical. considering the food and water shortages we are seeing our ballooning population and appetites cause in numerous parts of the world, the growing strength of common human illnesses like simple colds and flu viruses, and the rampant environmental damage we consistently cause (be it from fracking, burning coal, nuclear disasters, or otherwise), we’re clearly a massive scourge to this planet. i certainly don’t see why we shouldn’t be reining our own global populations in like we do with other creatures on this planet.



what’s really ironic about this is that the small scale damage caused by commonly culled species, like deer and coyote, obviously can’t hold a candle to the global devastation we’re guilty of. shit, we’re even polluting space with countless abandoned satellites. check out this neato gif that illustrates just how much junk we’ve got floating around up there.


i’d like to see a coyote try to pull off this level of harm.

i’m not delusional though. i’m not holding my breath for anyone to say, “you’re right, buddy. we consume, destroy, and leave far more waste than any other creature on the planet, and there’s way too many of us. time to thin the herd. let the human slaughter begin.” that’s ok. i’m confident that all the flus and noroviruses that are already killing people will continue growing stronger until they become full-blown epidemics. then i’ll finally be able to breathe sigh of relief, even if it’s my last one and it’s more of a cough due to cold.