fuck “fuck cancer”

in the last 6 months or so, i’ve noticed “fuck cancer” on bumper stickers and in youtube comments. i hate it. i think the worst is when it’s expanded on redundantly, like “fuck cancer. seriously, fuck you, cancer.” that just adds a lame hipster spin on it.

why do i hate the expression? for a few reasons. first, it strikes me as a wannabe redneck thing. the only people who would sport a bumper sticker that boldly says ‘fuck’ are people who want to be perceived as rednecks (i believe that most true rednecks don’t feel the need to advertise their lifestyle in the way that wannabe rednecks do), and the only thing worse than truly ignorant people is people trying to be ignorant.

second, i don’t like seeing it on a bumper sticker because ‘fuck’ is still a word that is not publicly acceptable. i don’t think it makes sense to make an exception for that word just because it’s being picked up by a cause that people are sympathetic to. you may as well start making bumper stickers that say “fuck world hunger,” “fuck pollution,” “fuck rape,” “fuck slavery,” “fuck racism”…the list goes on. are we suddenly going to allow the public use of ‘fuck’ as long as we’re talking about causes people are generally supportive of? of course, it should go without saying that i believe branding any words as taboo is ridiculous, but that’s beside the point. my point is the hypocrisy of this particular usage.

third, i think we need to look deeper into the issue, like why cancer is so prevalent now. i think we would find that the reason everyone is getting cancer is because we have created a world full of carcinogenic shit — plastic, radiation, UV rays, pollution, pesticides. since the problem is actually all our own fault, we shouldn’t be saying “fuck cancer” — we should really be saying, “fuck the human race for making cancer such an epidemic. seriously, fuck people.”

paradoxically, that’s a rallying cry i can fully get behind.


oooh, so edgy, so original.


bone fish

i recently learned about a prehistoric fish called a dunkleosteus. i was awed by it because it was so primitive, so perfectly designed for a single purpose — killing and eating — that it didn’t even have a bunch of pesky little teeth. instead, it had massive, sharp, bony jaws that did the trick. its entire face was basically a a battering ram of razor armour.


did i mention it was up to 10 meters long and weighed up to 3.5 tons?

this fish surely had a tiny brain and a big stomach. i bet all it ever wanted to do, all it had the capacity to want to do, was eat, fuck, and sleep. and it probably didn’t even enjoy any of those things either. it probably performed that stuff with a cold indifference until it simply no longer could, at which point it died. and none of the other bone fish would give a toss as they swam by their dying brother or sister. they’d just keep eating, fucking, and sleeping.

i admire that kind of single-mindedness. i just wrote a post that i really like (this previous one) but as much as i like it, i can’t help but feel like humans are pathetic in how wrapped up we get in our own heads. we spend so much time wondering why we’re questioning the things we think about. it’s so sickeningly self-indulgent, and inextricably linked to a life of ease and luxury. we spend too much time staring in the mirror at ourselves and not enough time eating, fucking, and sleeping. we have lost touch with our bone fish ancestors.

what would the bone fish think if they knew?

they wouldn’t think anything. they’d just eat us and keep going. that’s the beauty of the bone fish.

another good one. i’m on a roll.