the dreaded heat

the weather forecast for this week is ‘hot as hell.’ it’s supposed to get up to the mid-30’s by wednesday and thursday. when i saw that, i felt my guts tighten and a lump form in my throat.

i fucking hate the heat. it honestly makes me miserable. i get diarrhea when i’m too hot, i feel anxious, and i sweat the entire day. i spend those days just trying to avoid the sun and heat by staying inside with all the windows and blinds closed. our house doesn’t have air conditioning but by god, if it did i’d keep things at a pleasant 17 degrees the whole summer. i wish i worked in a fucking meat locker on those days. then i could still do something and feel productive, rather than shutting myself in like a freak while feeling sick and worried.

i have no idea why i hate the heat so much. i don’t mind it if i’m going swimming with pals and turning lemons into lemonade but that’s the only time i enjoy it, and you can’t do that EVERY hot day — you have to keep working and keep doing normal daily life stuff so i’m fucked. it makes me crazy that most people seem to love sunny, hot days so much when i can’t understand the appeal, or even function normally in them.


that about sums up my feelings on the topic.

my only hope is to find some people to swim with on wednesday and thursday, or face the reality of my gruesome, human-melting-like-a-candle fate.

or just hide inside like an antisocial old spinster.



spring a ding ding

lately i’ve heard a handful of people say stuff like, “holy hell, when are we going to get some warm weather??” as if they expect beach season to begin in april. comments like that lead me to believe that the last three or four years of droughts and heat waves have warped peoples sense of seasons to the point that they now expect to jump straight from winter into summer.

that bums me out. i like having a normal spring, with cool days that can be sunny and warm one second and pissing rain the next. i like it because, even though i hate that kind of inconsistent weather, it means we are that much closer to avoiding yet another drought this year. i’ll take rain in april and may in exchange for decent water levels and less forest fires in july and augst. i mean, shit — a few years ago we had a stubborn forest fire just a kilometer or two from our fucking house because the summer had been so damn dry and hot. that was really scary. the real, legitimate terror inspired by that kind of event is not worth the luxury of tanning in april.

so yeah. there isn’t a damn thing wrong with the spring we’re having on vancouver island so far. everyone can stop complaining about it, and find something else to complain about that i can then complain about.

sweep before you mop, you bastards

i work with some folks that love to mop and hate to sweep, and it drives me up the wall. it seems like common sense that doing so would just create a bunch of mud. i’ve even had conversations about this with people but they outright deny that what i’m saying makes any sense. they just yell, “it’s cleaner!” or say, “if you don’t like it, you do it your way.” and guess what, i do. and it looks a hell of a lot better. no streaks of filth, no spots of dried mud and sand.

what’s even worse is when some of my co-workers insist on spraying the garage floor with a hose for a half hour instead of sweeping it for 5 minutes. DURING WATER SHORTAGES. holy doodle, as if wasting all that water because you’re too lazy to push a broom isn’t bad enough, doing it when water levels are low is ludicrous. i think people should be forced take guided tours of municipal water plants, reservoirs, etc during droughts so they see something that clearly illustrates to them why we all need to change our wasteful habits, pronto.


i can forgive it when a cute bear wastes water but every person that does it is a dickhead.