I came across this video. I hate it.
I hate it because all of the people in it look like fucking losers. But they don’t look like losers because they are hippies — they look like losers because they seem like they are trying too hard to be hippies. I mean, the guy’s sparse and scraggly beard, greasy hair, hideous sweater…the first girl looks like a normal human at first glance…the second girl is also wearing a hideous sweater, and a ridiculous haircut reminiscent of Spike from the original Degrassi Junior High series:
So the rag-tag gang in the video wasn’t off to a good start with their lousy fashion sense, but this is what really enrages me: at 1:40 of the vid, the first girl takes a few slugs of the spring water she and her friends are so into. The guy asks her how it tastes — a stupid question since water doesn’t have any taste — and she shakes her head briefly, as if it’s so good that you’d have to taste this water for yourself to truly understand how incredibly delicious it is. Then she responds like any good hippie would: “like heaven.” The guy chortles a “huh huh huh” in typical stoner fashion. The trio then proceeds to fill about 100 water jugs with the stuff, as if this is the elixir of life, as if no other water can compare to it.
This makes me sick. Nobody is this into water, because the only people that act like this about it are people who are trying to be something they aren’t, people who are uncomfortable in their own skin, people who have bought into a stereotype. Their behaviour is just as ridiculous and disingenuous as a metal head wearing sunglasses in a grocery store, giving the devil horns and saying “rock on” to the cashier as he leaves. It’s juvenile, childish, pitiful. These wannabe hippies are slightly less obvious than the metal head example but make no mistake, they are the same lost souls, grasping desperately for an identity.
People are pathetic.
As if that wasn’t enough, when I clicked to see what other lame videos the uploader had posted to youtube, I saw that the long-haired gent in the video has also made a bunch of dumb vids on ayahuasca retreats, searching for your passion, living life with less rules, and water fasting — all complete bullshit. Wow. It’s funny because I was just chatting with someone about how annoying it is when people talk about doing ayahuasca as if they’re not just doing drugs — let’s call a spade a spade, you’re going to the woods or desert to do drugs. That’s fine, there’s no shame in that. At least, not until you get all pompous about it and act like it’s actually a very important spiritual journey. Do that and your drug retreat suddenly becomes really fucking stupid.
Worthy of note is that I have drank the water from the spring featured in the video that sparked this rant. I can say from experience it tastes completely neutral — zero taste. Which is good, because that’s how water is supposed to taste, but would I call that “heavenly”? I don’t think I ever would. I think that’s a silly adjective for such a thing.