annoyed with phony losers

I came across this video. I hate it.

I hate it because all of the people in it look like fucking losers. But they don’t look like losers because they are hippies — they look like losers because they seem like they are trying too hard to be hippies. I mean, the guy’s sparse and scraggly beard, greasy hair, hideous sweater…the first girl looks like a normal human at first glance…the second girl is also wearing a hideous sweater, and a ridiculous haircut reminiscent of Spike from the original Degrassi Junior High series:

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Except that it looked genuine and kind of cool on Spike.

So the rag-tag gang in the video wasn’t off to a good start with their lousy fashion sense, but this is what really enrages me: at 1:40 of the vid, the first girl takes a few slugs of the spring water she and her friends are so into. The guy asks her how it tastes — a stupid question since water doesn’t have any taste — and she shakes her head briefly, as if it’s so good that you’d have to taste this water for yourself to truly understand how incredibly delicious it is. Then she responds like any good hippie would: “like heaven.” The guy chortles a “huh huh huh” in typical stoner fashion. The trio then proceeds to fill about 100 water jugs with the stuff, as if this is the elixir of life, as if no other water can compare to it.

This makes me sick. Nobody is this into water, because the only people that act like this about it are people who are trying to be something they aren’t, people who are uncomfortable in their own skin, people who have bought into a stereotype. Their behaviour is just as ridiculous and disingenuous as a metal head wearing sunglasses in a grocery store, giving the devil horns and saying “rock on” to the cashier as he leaves. It’s juvenile, childish, pitiful. These wannabe hippies are slightly less obvious than the metal head example but make no mistake, they are the same lost souls, grasping desperately for an identity.

People are pathetic.

As if that wasn’t enough, when I clicked to see what other lame videos the uploader had posted to youtube, I saw that the long-haired gent in the video has also made a bunch of dumb vids on ayahuasca retreats, searching for your passion, living life with less rules, and water fasting — all complete bullshit. Wow. It’s funny because I was just chatting with someone about how annoying it is when people talk about doing ayahuasca as if they’re not just doing drugs — let’s call a spade a spade, you’re going to the woods or desert to do drugs. That’s fine, there’s no shame in that. At least, not until you get all pompous about it and act like it’s actually a very important spiritual journey. Do that and your drug retreat suddenly becomes really fucking stupid.

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I want to take videos of people when they’re super high on drugs so that they can watch them after they sober up. Maybe when they see how gross they are and hear the ludicrous, nonsensical shit they say when they’re high, they’ll have a more accurate assessment of their experience.

Worthy of note is that I have drank the water from the spring featured in the video that sparked this rant. I can say from experience it tastes completely neutral — zero taste. Which is good, because that’s how water is supposed to taste, but would I call that “heavenly”? I don’t think I ever would. I think that’s a silly adjective for such a thing.

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get real

i think people who live their lives as caricatures are goofy idiots who are inadvertently painting a stupid, unrealistic picture of their whole culture.

for example: 10 years ago, my pal lindsay had a good friend who was a gay man. he was doing online dating on plentyoffish.com at the time. i was also dating on POF (women though, mind you) so lindsay suggested i look up his profile. i said, “yeah, neat. maybe i’ll see hi to your pal.” i switched my POF search parameters to ‘men seeking men,’ and was absolutely shocked by what i saw — all the gay men were not flamboyant, fabulous, limp-wristed queens. 

on the contrary, they were all just normal-looking guys. they looked like any guy i see walking down any street, in any place, at any time. i realized then that gay men are just normal guys too, and that it was asinine that i previously believed i could pick a gay man out of a lineup.

not that i don’t see the stereotypical gay man every now and then too. they certainly exist. but are they being themselves? maybe a few are, but i think the vast majority are just playing a ridiculous role, and i’m not sure why. probably because that’s how gay men are portrayed in films and tv, and some insecure people want to belong to whatever club they can, even if it’s childish and lame. so they start copying the classic hollywood gay man tropes. that’s my bet.

but this concept of people moulding themselves after an image isn’t limited to gay men, of course. it applies to every person who lacks confidence and a sense of personal identity. i mean, military people don’t need to be strict, harsh pricks outside of work. artists don’t need to be gentle, overly sensitive pussycats. jocks don’t need to be beer-swilling boneheads. you get the idea: no one needs to be any stereotype.

but that isn’t what bothers me the most about this topic. what bothers me the most is that by buying into stereotypes and playing those roles, these people are perpetuating myths and misconceptions about whatever group they are associated with. they feed the commonly held belief that a person can be defined by a single aspect, that those people are crude, one-dimensional characters. that’s a real disservice to not only themselves but everyone else who shares that particular aspect with them. it’s a fucking shame that they think they’re being “loud and proud” when they’re really just selling themselves and a lot of other people short.

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get multidimensional, man