tonight i was on a run when i got a song by testament stuck in my head. i don’t like the song now, it was just something i was into when i was in junior high and have long since outgrown. i haven’t even thought about it in many years. anyway, the song reminded me of being 14, my first girlfriend, and how i felt in general back then. there have been so many poignant feelings throughout my life that i still remember vividly, and testament and my first girlfriend were certainly the catalysts for a lot of those feelings when i was 14. while i no longer have any love for or interest in testament or that girlfriend, i can absolutely appreciate how they influenced me then, and how those influences reverberate through my life even now. for that influence, i am grateful beyond words. i piss and moan more than the average dimwit but i’m actually remarkably content, often even overflowing with love for the world, the universe, life, death, and everything else. and when i overflow with joy, i have to acknowledge that i could not have reached this wondrous moment without all of the experiences that have lead me to now.
i wish i could reach out to everyone that has influenced me and let them know how grateful i am to them.
maybe i already am though.
in love with the loveless, in tune with the tuneless, yet again. it’s a thing lately.