so many bad dreams

my mind has been on a real roll lately. two nights ago, i had two nightmares. the first was that jenn and i suddenly realized that our house was actually a very dilapidated, rotten, rat-infested log cabin. i pulled back some blankets that were hanging on the wall and found a massive rats nest full of hay, dust bunnies, and chunks of chewed foam. then i noticed that the logs that made up the walls were so damp and rotted that i could poke my finger right into the wood. i was disgusted, and bewildered as to how we could be so stupid as to have bought a complete piece of shit.

the second nightmare was that jenn and i were up in the arctic with some sort of outdoorsy, expedition-type people. it was dark. then a giant yeti attacked. it was at least 10 ft tall and effortlessly tossed members of our crew around. that’s about as far as that dream got. that one really surprises me because i have zero interest in yetis, bigfoots, or sasquatches, and have never found them remotely scary. i wonder why my mind picked that, and why i suddenly found it frightening.


almost as boring as me recounting my dreams

after those, i was really looking forward to last night’s sleep but it was just as bad. i had a dream that i was getting married to someone — i don’t know who it was but i know it wasn’t jenn — and i had huge misgivings about it. i didn’t want to do it but felt like it was too late to pull the plug. then i noticed that my dick was hanging out of my suit pants. i was so embarrassed. i put it back in but moments later, there it was, out in the breeze again. i couldn’t believe it. i wound up borrowing someone’s spandex bicycling shorts and wore those with my shirt and suit jacket for the rest of the wedding. it looked almost as ridiculous as letting my dick hang out.

then i had another suit-related dream. i dreamed that i got my suit pants back from the dry cleaner but the silver checkered pattern had somehow partially worn off in the cleaning process. my expensive new suit now looked like a total piece of shit. the odd parts were that i wasn’t really that upset even though the suit cost almost $1000, and that in that dream, i thought a dark blue with painted-on silver checkers was an attractive suit.

tonight i’m going to try to direct my dreams in a happier direction before i go to sleep. i want some easy, pleasant adventures now. wish me luck.


a tangled web

it’s been a while since i complained about a news article but i just found one that got me going.

a couple in halifax was engaged but didn’t see eye to eye on the wedding planning — he wanted something cheaper, she wanted something more expensive — so the guy postponed the wedding. in response, the woman ended the relationship altogether.

then they went to court to fight over who got to keep the $19,000 engagement ring. there were texts of him telling her she could keep the ring but i guess he hadn’t meant it, or maybe he had a change of heart. she said she just wanted to sell the ring to pay off debt incurred from planning the wedding. but then she claimed bankruptcy, so neither of them get the ring — the bank gets it.

what a disaster, and what a perfect example of how petty and cruel human beings can be, even to the people we claim to love and cherish the most. it’s a good thing these clowns didn’t actually tie the knot.

my problems with this story are:

  1. a couple not being able to come to a compromise on wedding plans, and ultimately breaking up over them, is absolutely pathetic.
  2. both people going into debt just planning a wedding — not even getting to the wedding itself — is also pathetic.
  3. spending $19,000 on a ring is beyond pathetic. not to mention that the diamond industry is horrific in its treatment of workers and the environment, and carefully controls their own market to inflate prices ridiculously. every sensible person should boycott diamonds.
  4. despite their apparent dire financial straits, the couple managed at one point to afford a trip to mexico together for which the small claims adjudicator ordered the woman pay her ex back $3000. i can’t believe that a financially strapped couple would drop this kind of money on a vacation.

it’s all so depressing. i hate seeing evidence that these kind of people really do exist. i mean, i bitch about them all the time but i rarely see this kind of detailed evidence of them so this is a real mindfuck. did i mention he has his full name tattooed on his left bicep along with the words “reign” and “journey” in a crossword puzzle style? i’m not sure if those are the terrible names he picked for his poor, unfortunate children, or if they’re merely words the big cornball finds inspirational. he also has numerous other lame inspirational tattoos that mention dedication and being strong and have lots of ellipses. why do people overuse ellipses so much now, anyway? what a fucking ghastly trend that is.

man, there’s a lot to hate about this one little news story.


the unhappy couple themselves. what a surprise that a competitive bodybuilder would turn out to be crazy. i’m referring to her here, of course — some people seem to be confused about that, although i think it’s perfectly obvious.


irreconcilable differences

i keep reading about movie and music stars and their dramatic, troubled love lives. i find it all really disheartening. it seems like every star has been married at least 3 times, engaged another 3 separate times, and has multiple kids with multiple partners.

nuff said. and yuck, btw

when i say it like that, i imagine white trash living in trailer parks. it’s crazy that i’m actually talking about some of the most revered, wealthy, and recognized people in the world. rich white trash, indeed.

maybe that’s why the poor trash live like that. maybe they’re emulating the rich and famous people they see on tv. i think more than likely though, no one is emulating anyone else. they’re all probably just equally emotionally fucked up.

i understand that a lot of hollywood marriages are supposedly pure facade, just career moves to keep their names in the public spotlight so their music and films sell better, but i believe most of them are legit. i think most of them are people really trying to find love and a life partner, and they are actually failing miserably at it. there are a few reasons i believe this.

  1. a fair amount of the marriages and engagements i’m reading about are to nobodies, and marrying a nobody doesn’t help a career out.
  2. i think most stars are totally out of touch with reality due to being coddled by everyone around them. if all of your friends and family were sucking your dick 24-7 in the hopes of borrowing some money from you or making it into your will or being invited on vacation with you, you would certainly be emotionally stunted by it. i think it’s rare that people can live in that world and not be affected by it, and even more rare that stars are able to control their personal lives so tightly as to not allow any leech scum into their sphere.
  3. i don’t believe people are so dishonest as to have multiple sham weddings and relationships. i should believe it. i mean, i think a lot of non-stars relationships are shams too. couples that lie to and cheat on each other have sham relationships, it’s just a different shade of sham. but the idea of talking with managers about who is hot right now, who could really help catapult my name to the cover of US and people again, of spending years with a person that i don’t really care about, of having kids with that same person i don’t care about…someone would have to be a right fucked sociopath to wear that mask for so long. and as much as i hate people and believe the worst about many of us, i just don’t think many people have the diligence or work ethic to keep that up and pull it off. so i don’t think many would sign up for it in the first place. or maybe they sign up for it, realize it sucks, and that’s why they divorce so quickly? maybe the line between manufactured relationships and real life emotions gets blurred, maybe it’s only contrived as far as stars can handle it, and then reality boils to the surface and the whole thing falls to shit.

hollywood relationships are a lot like pro wrestling, actually.

whatever. regardless of why it happens, i think it’s fucked up and don’t like it. i like real life and real people.

one is not enough

some couples are really insular. i don’t like it because it’s annoying, but i also think it’s super weird and unhealthy.

people in insular relationships are crazy. btw, free charlie manson! let the poor bastard go!

here’s an example. i used to know a guy who didn’t have much of a social life, just spent most of his time with his wife and kids. he mentioned a few times how he his wife was his only friend and that was all he needed. he always talked positively about her. they would visit each other while working all the time. they were pretty much inseparable.

then he cheated on her and left her for the other woman.

in all honesty, i thought the guy’s insular behaviour with his wife was really strange right from the get-go, especially the “i don’t need any other friends” comment. to me, that sounded like someone trying to convince themselves, not me. so when i found out that he had left her, i wasn’t surprised. i mean, how sustainable is it to only have one person in your life? his life must have been lacking so much in so many areas for so long because of his self-imposed social exile. who else could he talk to about interests she didn’t share, about their marital troubles, or even just for a change of pace? no one. he totally set his marriage up for failure.

i just remembered another thing that was a red flag to me. one of this guy’s sons was engaged to a long-term girlfriend when out of nowhere, she left him. within a few months, the son had moved in with a new girl. then he bought her a car. he was really jumping in head first. so i said to the dad that i think it’s unhealthy to jump from one serious relationship to the next. i said that it’s too easy to keep repeating patterns from the last relationship in the new one. it can create a false feeling of closeness due to the familiarity of the routine, or bad relationship habits (like bottling emotions so as not to upset the partner) can continue from one relationship to the next, that sort of thing. i told this guy that i think people should spend a good amount of time alone between serious relationships to bring themselves back to neutral, so they can become reacquainted with themselves and what they are like when they are not trying to keep someone else happy. this guy said he thought i was onto something and wondered if he was a long-term relationship addict himself. he said he had only been in a few relationships, and they were all serious, and they were all back-to-back. i guess he really did have some unresolved issues.

beyond all that serious stuff, it’s just really lame when couples will only come out as a couple. i hate it where people say stuff like “oh i can’t come out, ted has diarrhea tonight so i want to stay here and support him.” fuck ted and his diarrhea, let him shit his guts out in peace and come have a good time. it’s actually nice to see people without their partners sometimes, most people act differently when on their own so it’s a nice change of pace. i’m obviously not saying “always leave your spouse at home,” i’m saying “it’s ok to leave your spouse at home.”

i’d way rather hang out with old charlie manson than freaks like this.

unless your spouse is a fucking idiot. then you should definitely leave them at home. or dead in a ditch somewhere.