You can’t trust anyone who is trying to sell you anything

Over the last year, I’ve noticed a lot more misleading marketing than I have in the past. There are two specific types of hoodwinking that I’m talking about.

The first is when an item has a big sticker or American flag logo on the tag, with big text that says, “proudly made in the USA.” But in small print underneath that it quietly adds, “with domestic and imported components.” In other words, “most of these components were made by slave labour in China, and then it was assembled by machines here in the US.”

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The only thing this is a sure sign of is questionable marketing ethics.

The above graphic actually takes the deception a step further and uses ‘global’ as a euphemism for ‘imported’ — clever. Insidious.

Similarly, I’ve noticed a lot of food products now say stuff like, “made with NATURAL ingredients.”

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That’s absurd. Virtually everything in the world can be called natural — I mean, coal and asbestos are natural, but that doesn’t mean they’re good for people — so it’s really a meaningless term. As such, there’s no regulation on the term ‘natural.’ You can put it on any food product you want, like Big Macs and Twinkies, and there is no regulatory body who is going to contact you and say, “wait a minute, that food isn’t natural.” Labeling food as ‘natural’ is just a way for companies to intentionally mislead the public into thinking their product is healthy, organic, pesticide-free, antibiotic-free, hormone-free, etc. Once again: total bullshit.

Basically, everyone who is looking to make a buck is willing to bend the truth as much as legally possible to make you feel better about buying their trash. Trust no one who is trying to sell you anything. They’re all shysters.

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why does natural deodorant make me stink so bad?

*edit* about 6 months after i wrote this, a friend turned me on to a new natural deodorant that actually works on my gross body. i wrote about that deodorant here.

i’ve been trying all kinds of natural deodorants for years but they’re all terrible. tom’s of maine, geo deo, some weird crystal thing jenn got me, and several others, but every one of them makes me stink even worse than if i don’t wear any deodorant at all. wtf?

it sucks because i don’t want to wear the chemical stuff if i can avoid it, but i’m naturally a stinky guy and i’m paranoid about stinking so the natural stuff just isn’t a viable option for me so far. so i’m back on the wagon, smearing heavy metals in my armpits each morning.

what the hell is wrong with natural deodorants? why are they all so lousy? why do they make me smell worse than usual?

most importantly — is it me? do natural deodorants work fine for everyone else? maybe my stench is just too powerful for natural treatments. maybe i’m just a powerfully smelly guy.

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self portrait