Where is my damned scribe?

Most days, I wish I had a scribe running around behind me. I have so many thoughts I want to write about throughout the day — some big, some small — that I can’t remember a fraction of them to start with. Even when I can, by the time I sit at a computer and have time to type them out, I’m no longer interested in exploring that thought. If I had that damned scribe kicking around while I’m driving through town or getting dressed after a massage, I could simply verbalize a whole post and just come back to edit it before posting it online. Damn, that would be easier.

Another option would be a voice recorder. Actually, I think I have one of those. But then I’d have to listen to my own voice and transcribe the words, and I wouldn’t like that. Listening to yourself speak is only slightly better than seeing video of yourself — anyone who is not a delusional narcissist will wince at both of those things. It’s a terrible thing to see the way your mouth twists to one side when you speak, or hear the tiny lisp or annoying sing-songy cadence in your voice. I find that stuff horrifying.

So I don’t know what I’m to do. I mean, today alone, I had at least three, maybe four things I wanted to write about. What were they now? I don’t know. I think one was about how we should be forced to see both the upstream and downstream costs of everything we do. For example, if you buy a car, you should have to sit through a seminar that details the destruction and waste caused by each step of the cars construction (like the mining of the metals and fabrication of the plastic moulding), as well as the destruction and waste associated with drilling for and refining gas and oil so that the car can run, and also the amount of pollution that car will puke forth in its lifetime, and so on and so forth. I think the same approach should go for everything else, too: the food we eat, computers and phones we use for a few years and then throw away, the cheap clothes made by slave labour that we wear, etc. People in the first world should be forced to confront the vast waste and destruction we are responsible for, and we should feel guilty and miserable for it. We deserve it.


Buy chocolate, and you are responsible for rampant deforestation in the Amazon — animals are literally going extinct because you have a sweet tooth. Sleep well.

And that’s just one of the gems I thought about today that I DIDN’T have a scribe to write down for me!

Now it’s a few days later (I’m writing this in fits and starts), and today while I was on a run, I thought of something I wanted to write about. But when I got home, I couldn’t remember the damn thing. I retraced my steps and remembered other things I thought about during other portions of the run, but couldn’t remember the thing I wanted to write about. If only I had a damned scribe with me then. Fear not, though, dear readers — while laying on the floor doing yoga after my run, I spontaneously remembered the lost idea so I jumped up, dashed to the computer, and jotted the basic premise down. I will be delving into this latest masterpiece soon.

But my point is I need a scribe, stat. I can’t keep working like this. I’m hamstringing myself, like Michelangelo being forced to paint the Sistine Chapel with crayons. It’s insanity.


I’m just goofing around. I know I have more in common with this Michelangelo.


cheap stuff attracts pieces of shit; a supposed nihilist reveals his true colours

more adventures in selling used crap online. i put our old camper up for sale for the paltry amount of $300 because it’s ugly, has a leak and some water damage at one of the skylights, and some body damage at one spot. everything works great though so it’s not a total piece of crap. i posted the ad and within an hour, i had two replies. within two hours, i had 8 replies. but all these replies were like ‘im intreated when cani see it ??’ so i knew i was dealing with dummies. i thought, no problem, as long as the dummies have $300 it doesn’t matter.

well, it does matter, because all the white trash around here are painfully stupid and flaky. a guy last night said he’d come today to get it but he had no idea where he lived, where i was, or how to get from there to here. this was even using google maps, so i mean he was turbo stupid, or maybe drunk at home alone which isn’t much better. anyway, today i called him at our agreed upon time and he told me he had already driven to mill bay today, and then to duncan, and then home, and he was just wiped out. couldn’t manage to come get the camper tonight. i said ok, you’re not interested. he said he was interested but maybe he could come get it another time this week, and gave some weird specific hours on wednesday or some shit. i said i was busy at work and hung up on him. so i’ve now emailed and called every other piece of shit that has feigned interest in this fucking camper. let’s see which one actually follows through now. i’m constantly amazed at what consistently awful experiences i have selling used stuff online.

in other news, i recently read that sigmund ‘satyr’ wongraven (singer of the norwegian black metal band, satyricon) has been diagnosed with a brain tumour.

he revealed this to the world via his instagram account, noting that it was likely benign so it would only be removed if it was a matter of life and death, that many people in the world have it much worse than he, and that he has a great support network of family and friends.

i was immediately struck by two things: how odd it is that a devil-worshiping nihilist has an instagram account, and that said nihilist would not be thrilled at the prospect of an early death. i’ve never liked satyricon at all but always regarded them as one of the ‘true, elite’ black metal legends, thoroughly dedicated to anti-humanism and chaos, so hearing him talk about surgery to save his life, acknowledging that his situation is not ideal, and how grateful he is for those closest to him really messes with my perception of him. maybe i always had the wrong impression, maybe the nihilist angle was just for show, maybe he used to be a nihilist but changed his views over time, or maybe he’s just a phony goofball. who knows, but it sure is weird. i guess impending death tends to soften most people up a bit.

i don’t want to steal music anymore but $10 is a lot for 8 mp3’s

i just found a new artist that i’m pumped on. it’s author and punisher and it’s really slow, heavy, industrial nihilism. riley described it as ‘joyless’ and ‘anti-humanism,’ which i thought was apt as all hell. here’s one of their tunes.

now, i’ve been thinking for quite a while about the state of the music industry and illegal music downloading. i totally oppose illegal downloading because i know how much work goes into writing songs, recording them, and getting them out to the public. it’s bullshit for anyone to invest that much time, money, and effort into something just to have every motherfucker take it for free.

but i’m cheap, and this is the way the world has been working for quite some time now, so i’ve been doing it too. i’m one of the motherfuckers, and i’m ashamed of it and want to change.

so after getting so psyched on author and punisher, i thought this is a good opportunity to start paying for shit i want. besides, since no one has to press CDs and artwork and ship them around the world, an album’s worth of music should be substantially cheaper than it used to be. plus most of the music i dig is not associated with fat cat record labels looking to recoup various investment costs through bloated pricing. double cheap, right?

well, i just checked and to download author and punisher’s melk an honing album, it’s going to cost me $10.16 canadian. with no physical printing, no shipping, and no big labels behind it, that seems like a lot to me.


too much!

i guess i always bought used CDs, which were substantially cheaper, and that was many years ago so i guess i need to account for inflation too. shit.

i need to sleep on this one.