Where is my damned scribe?

Most days, I wish I had a scribe running around behind me. I have so many thoughts I want to write about throughout the day — some big, some small — that I can’t remember a fraction of them to start with. Even when I can, by the time I sit at a computer and have time to type them out, I’m no longer interested in exploring that thought. If I had that damned scribe kicking around while I’m driving through town or getting dressed after a massage, I could simply verbalize a whole post and just come back to edit it before posting it online. Damn, that would be easier.

Another option would be a voice recorder. Actually, I think I have one of those. But then I’d have to listen to my own voice and transcribe the words, and I wouldn’t like that. Listening to yourself speak is only slightly better than seeing video of yourself — anyone who is not a delusional narcissist will wince at both of those things. It’s a terrible thing to see the way your mouth twists to one side when you speak, or hear the tiny lisp or annoying sing-songy cadence in your voice. I find that stuff horrifying.

So I don’t know what I’m to do. I mean, today alone, I had at least three, maybe four things I wanted to write about. What were they now? I don’t know. I think one was about how we should be forced to see both the upstream and downstream costs of everything we do. For example, if you buy a car, you should have to sit through a seminar that details the destruction and waste caused by each step of the cars construction (like the mining of the metals and fabrication of the plastic moulding), as well as the destruction and waste associated with drilling for and refining gas and oil so that the car can run, and also the amount of pollution that car will puke forth in its lifetime, and so on and so forth. I think the same approach should go for everything else, too: the food we eat, computers and phones we use for a few years and then throw away, the cheap clothes made by slave labour that we wear, etc. People in the first world should be forced to confront the vast waste and destruction we are responsible for, and we should feel guilty and miserable for it. We deserve it.

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Buy chocolate, and you are responsible for rampant deforestation in the Amazon — animals are literally going extinct because you have a sweet tooth. Sleep well.

And that’s just one of the gems I thought about today that I DIDN’T have a scribe to write down for me!

Now it’s a few days later (I’m writing this in fits and starts), and today while I was on a run, I thought of something I wanted to write about. But when I got home, I couldn’t remember the damn thing. I retraced my steps and remembered other things I thought about during other portions of the run, but couldn’t remember the thing I wanted to write about. If only I had a damned scribe with me then. Fear not, though, dear readers — while laying on the floor doing yoga after my run, I spontaneously remembered the lost idea so I jumped up, dashed to the computer, and jotted the basic premise down. I will be delving into this latest masterpiece soon.

But my point is I need a scribe, stat. I can’t keep working like this. I’m hamstringing myself, like Michelangelo being forced to paint the Sistine Chapel with crayons. It’s insanity.

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I’m just goofing around. I know I have more in common with this Michelangelo.

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shell game

this is an old post i was working on but forgot about till i found it again now. i still think it’s relevant so here it is:

the word wildlife fund recently filed a lawsuit against shell canada because the latter’s permits for arctic oil exploration expired in 1979 and were never renewed. now shell says they were already in talks with the canadian government about “giving” those permits back to canada before the WWF launched their lawsuit. in other words, “we at shell are generous and very concerned about the environment.”

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“trussssssst me.”

bullshit. this is 100% typical big business bullshit.

first, shell is not stupid — i imagine they were very aware these permits expired 37 years ago but have somehow kept the fact quiet all this time.

second, are we supposed to believe it’s pure coincidence that shell is giving the permits to the nature conservancy of canada right around the time the WWF started a lawsuit about them? because that’s asinine. what’s even more asinine is shell claiming they started this process before WWF brought the issue up — as if shell is proactive about these matters,¬†as if taking 37 fucking years to deal with such a situation is proactive, as if they don’t need environmental watchdogs to call them out on shit before they finally act on them. give me a break.

third, wtf is shell “giving” to the nature conservancy of canada? expired permits? those are worthless, they’re expired! so really, they actually don’t have anything to give but they’re pretending they do and making a big show of it to attempt to make themselves look like generous, environmentally concerned, non-assholes.

nope. fuck you, shell canada.

the reality of the situation is this: the WWF started a lawsuit against shell. shell took a look at things and thought, “fuck, there’s no way we can win this in court. backup plan: damage control. let’s spin this to make us look good.” shell then claims they were already doing something about the permits (making them look proactive), and then they ‘give’ their permits back to canada which makes way for more marine preservation (making them look environmentally concerned). shell never acknowledges that the permits were expired — that last bit is their elephant in the room because that would undermine their entire plan for positive spin.

this is why i don’t trust giant, rich, powerful corporations. snakes. PR. spin. utter bullshit.

“give me my smokestacks and cancers”

i just read about some ontario communities that don’t want wind turbine farms anywhere near them. they’re pissed that the province is apparently going ahead and putting them near them anyway.

i can understand being pissed when your government doesn’t listen to you. what i can’t understand though is opposing long overdue development of cleaner energy resources.

do some people actually prefer to keep burning coal, oil, and gas for power? if so, why? do those supporters not give a shit about the known and well-documented dangers and ridiculous amounts of pollution associated with that stuff?

the main complaints people have about wind farms is that they’re ugly, the sound is annoying, and they kill lots of birds and bats. i think those are stupid arguments since the health effects of burning coal, oil, and gas are obviously much bigger problems. regardless, since they were first introduced, turbines have become much quieter, and designers have made changes so they are safer for birds and other wildlife.

and don’t tell me that turbines are uglier than billowing clouds of pollution. i won’t even entertain that kind of idiotic statement.

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lovely. i can feel my lung cancer spreading.

and guess what, all that black shit pouring out of those smokestacks kills birds and bats too. it also kills everything else on this fucking planet.

so i don’t think those ontario communities have a leg to stand on. they should get their heads out of their asses and be happy to be finally moving forward, taking real steps to leave a cleaner world for their kids.

christ, i don’t even have kids and i lose sleep over this shit.

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i’ll take this over smog and smokestacks any day.

canadian prime minister stephen harper is satan.

if i were a christian, i would believe that stephen harper truly is the devil.

i think a lot of politicians are degenerate scumfucks but he is among the elite. i read yesterday that he just ratified a trade deal between canada and china that makes canada liable for any loss of potential profit to chinese companies operating here. basically, that means if a chinese company working in the tar sands wants to dump a bunch of shit somewhere and kill a bunch of people while doing so and canadians say “hold on, we’re not ok with that,” that company can say “ok, we won’t do it but now canada has to pay us what we would have made with that move.” guess where that money will come from. surprise, canadian tax dollars.

if that’s not completely fucking insane, i don’t know what is.

harper has been signing off on incredible bullshit like that since he and the conservatives were voted in. it’s like his motus operandi has been “go for broke,” like he doesn’t care if he or the conservatives are ever in power again, just as long as he is able to leave his mark by way of total destruction of everything that is not oil, especially if it potentially stands in the way of oil.

i can’t help but wonder exactly why he is taking that approach though. i don’t think he particularly wants to live on in infamy. i think that must simply be a by-product of his true goal. perhaps his true goal is just opening as many doors for oil extraction as possible. maybe he really believes that is for the best. after all, he has many ties to various oil companies so perhaps he really believes in the delusional, fucked up rhetoric of big oil.

i don’t think he’s a stupid man though, and i think he would have to be stupid to believe all the ridiculous lies that big oil constantly pukes forth. and that only leaves one possible explanation:

stephen harper really is the devil.

to hell with the devil

the only thing worse than having the devil as your country’s prime minister is the fact that your countrymen voted him in to power in the first place. it’s an incredible shame that such a beautiful country is so full of people who share his ridiculously short-sighted values. it makes me feel like a stranger in a strange land, in my home country.

dana once said something about moving to europe to avoid being surrounded by the kind of twits that voted the conservatives into power. i think he was on to something. i keep thinking about how north america looks at africa and feels superior. i keep thinking how europe looks at canada and the US and thinks the same thing.