festivus was 5 days ago, and i had an absolutely fabulous time that night. i was surrounded by so many great friends both new and old that i didn’t have enough time to talk to all of them sufficiently.

but the other day, i was thinking about what a different experience festivus must have been for some of the people there. i mean, i would say i knew pretty much everyone at festivus very well, but some attendees only knew a few people there. that would make it way more work to be social and make conversation with strangers, and much less fun.

that blows my mind. it’s crazy to think that this particular night — probably one of my favourite nights of 2017 — may have been merely “meh” to a lot of other people there.

i actually hate to think of it from that perspective. i loved that night, and i don’t want to temper or taint that feeling with the knowledge it wasn’t as good for some of the other party goers. i don’t want to even be aware of that. i just want to be able to enjoy it as i experienced it. i want to be selfish about this.

on an unrelated note, riley used to tell me how he enjoyed lying to the dentist when he went in for cleanings and check-ups. he wouldn’t tell any outrageous lies, he would just alter little details about his life. for example, he would tell them he sang in a metal band when in fact he actually played keyboards in a metal band. i always thought that was fascinating. i think he just liked subtly fucking with those people, and creating a sort of alter ego or ‘bizarro riley’ version of himself. i really admired his cavalier, devil-may-care attitude towards idle conversation with strangers. i couldn’t do it myself. maybe that’s why i like that it was so easy for him.


finding myself through dish washing

more talk about washing dishes. brace yourselves.

1 – when i have dinner at someone else’s house, i like to do the dishes afterward not only to help out and reciprocate their kindness but also because i want to avoid the awkwardness of drying the dishes and having no idea where to put them. trying to help out but requiring ample assistance when doing so is a horrible, pathetic thing.

on a similar note, it’s funny how good i feel about helping clean up at get togethers because i used to absolutely loathe it. the fact that i was soon going to feel obligated to help out always cast a gloom over whatever fantastic meal the host was graciously providing me. oh yes, i was incredibly, ridiculously lazy and selfish, and i am still ashamed of it. i was the same way with thank you letters after christmas. my parents would be on my ass to write to uncle bill and aunt lois and the various other mystery relatives who kindly sent money every year despite having never met me (at least as far as i could remember), but i couldn’t have given less of a shit about thanking them back then. the worst part is that the war of attrition with my parents sometimes ended with me winning, not writing any thank you letters. it’s awful. i’m so embarrassed. it might be residual guilt from those thankless years that drives me to try to be more vocal about my gratitude now.

2 – when i wash the dishes, i no longer fill the sink with dish water. instead, i fill the largest pot or mixing bowl and use that for my dish water. it probably uses less than 1/4 of the water of the sink. i started doing that a few years ago when we were put on severe water restrictions due to drought and it’s stuck with me since. i’m proud of this method because it’s super simple yet very effective.

taking it one step further, when i’m finished washing dishes i can take the pot or mixing bowl outside and water the fruit trees and ornamental plants with the stuff. marion showed me that part, bless her eco-friendly heart.

i must be really thin on material these days.