shitter

i have a twitter account. it doesn’t have my real name or anything attached to it, of course. i use it to voice my pleasure and disdain at various individuals i would otherwise have no means of reaching out to, like bands and UFC fighters.

but i don’t ‘follow’ anyone on twitter. i’m just not that interested in what anyone is doing. even the people i’m most interested in, i don’t want to see the latest pics of them snuggling their cat, or what they’re having for dinner, or hear their thoughts on the canucks game. to test this, i just looked at the twitter pages for a few folks i like and yup, i was bored and annoyed by their posts. so i wonder, why does anyone care about keeping up to date on any of that shit?

to me, it doesn’t matter how stunningly beautiful a person is, how much i love their art, what their political leaning is, or anything like that. no one is so fascinating, so all-consuming, that i need to ‘follow’ them. maybe i’m missing something though. maybe a lot of people just follow their friends, and use twitter like i used to use facebook, to keep in touch with pals. but i don’t know anyone who does that. everyone that i know uses twitter to either follow stars, or promote their business — both boring reasons, in my book.

fuck following anyone on twitter. i can’t think of any good reason to do so. god, social media is such a ridiculous time waster. just before people die, they should be told how many hours they spent on facebook, instagram, and twitter in their lifetime. i’d like the horror of realizing they’ve wasted so much of their lives to be one of their final memories. 

co2

“hahaha! and to think, you did it to yourself!”

watch me start following some loudmouth on twitter next week. i’ll never admit it if i do.

star wars, and the transient nature of beauty

so much pissing and moaning, so little time.

i just read that carrie fisher is giving shit to internet trolls who are complaining that she looks like shit in the new stars wars movie. i think it’s great. she’s said some rad things like “Youth and beauty are not accomplishments. They’re temporary happy by-products of time and/or DNA. Don’t hold your breath for either” and “My body is my brain bag, it hauls me around to those places and in front of faces where there’s something to say or see.” well done, miss fisher.

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this

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will inevitably become this

i think about this topic all the time. when i see young, beautiful people embracing and reveling in their youth and beauty, feeling powerful and on top of the world, i wish i could show them a picture of themselves in 60 years, 50 years, 40 years…hell, 10 years. your flesh changes quickly. it sags, wrinkles, gets fat. i want to show them this so that they realize how fleeting their youth- and beauty-based joy will be. i think those joys are perfectly valid and worthwhile but i also think they’re shallow and vapid, and i think that’s why i want to ruin them. i can’t help it. plus i just generally love the idea of spreading misery. i want everyone to wrestle with the same horrible truths that i do.

and that’s why it makes me so happy that a big star like carrie fisher just publicly said that stuff. i know the dummies won’t get it, but i applaud fisher’s inadvertent efforts to rain on their parade nonetheless.

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and then this

on a related note, jenn and i saw star wars: the force awakens the other night. i was really annoyed by a lot of it but i somehow still liked it a lot (spoiler alert, i’m going to talk about what i hated now). first off, john boyega was a horrible over-actor better suited to YTV kids shows, AND his character in the movie sucks. he is the new jar jar binks. harrison ford’s acting was also 80% garbage. he had a few good lines but was mostly stiff and unbelievable. i don’t know how he un-learned how to act but he did. fisher was even worse than ford. their scenes together totally sucked, they were just brief summaries of what happened between them in the years between episodes 6 and 7, told as the two of them exchange clipped, unnatural, soap opera-ish lines. it was corny as fuck. i hated all the throwback stuff, the trying so hard to emulate episodes 4, 5, and 6 that in the end it just ripped them off. like the father/son good/evil battle on a big futuristic bridge, all the x-wing pilots being the same weird aliens as back in the old films and even looking exactly the same despite everyone else looking 40 years older, the starkill base being nothing more than a bigger version of the deathstar (that’s so ridiculously uncreative), and the strategy to destroy the starkill base being identical to the one used to destroy the deathstar…in those last few ways, i think the force awakens was really just a reboot of return of the jedi. i’m not even a fan of these flicks but i still noticed all these ripoffs so i hope all the megafans notice them too and can admit “yup, that was another cheap ‘remember when’ moment.”

but i did like quite a few things about the force awakens. we saw it in 3D and that was cool, for sure. the special effects were great. i generally hate CGI but it was tolerable in this, and there was plenty of real special effects too, which i prefer by far. i really liked the scale of the old dead empire ships and whatnot on jakku, i really got the sense of how huge they were. i thought daisy ridley was excellent as rey. i liked the fast pace. i loved the ‘supreme leader,’ whatever the hell he was. i liked mark hamill’s short, mute appearance at the end of the film.

ridley (Small)

daisy ridley is beautiful…for now.

when jenn and i walked out of the theater, we both started bitching right away about most of the things i already touched on. we went on at great length and yet, i can’t deny that i really enjoyed the film. despite its many shortcomings, i thought it was really fun and entertaining. i dare say, i’m now looking forward to the next installment. i’m sure i’ll live to regret that.

 

 

mcgregor is smart. his fans are stupid.

i don’t hate conor mcgregor. his schtick got old the second he started doing it (which was only several fights after he joined the UFC — he was confident before this but never pulled any of the ridiculous hyperbole or ‘i’m a wild man’ stuff) so i can’t stand to listen to him, but conor knows that this phony loud-mouthed, brash, ignorant character he has created is a huge marketing hit, so he’s running with it. i can’t hold that against him. i might do the same thing if i stood to make hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of dollars from it. and he is a great fighter, there is no doubt. #3 featherweight? now that’s still pretty dubious considering who he has fought so far, but he’s very good, for sure.

throwing darts at, tearing up, and eating a picture of his opponent. wow, this guy must be crazy.

i think what bothers me the most about mcgregor are the legions of idiots following him, eating up his pathetic bravado and lies. grabbing the belt from the champion, leering in the champ’s face, eating a picture of the champ in a pub, talking about riding into the champion’s town on horseback and slaughtering him like the peasant he is…this is really stupid stuff. this is WWE stuff. some people might find it entertaining and i guess that’s fine even though i think it’s trash, but a lot of people actually believe this shit. they believe mcgregor when he says he is without a doubt the best fighter in the world, despite having only one win over an impressive opponent so far. they believe him when he says that aldo backed out of the championship fight because he was scared to fight mcgregor, despite doctors and x-rays confirming aldo had a fractured rib and was unable to fight.

good grief.

now UFC is trying to promote mcgregor’s fight with chad mendes for the interim featherweight title, and mendes is getting sucked into mcgregor’s silly antics as well, as shown below. their exchange starts around the 3:00 mark.

i wonder why sane people don’t call conor on his bullshit more instead of responding to whatever absurd things he’s saying at the moment. if i were an interviewer or an opponent of mcgregor’s, i would disregard his “i’m going to tear him limb from limb” stuff and seek honest, bullshit-free answers to questions like

  • how can mcgregor claim to be the best when his last fight was against a man who was then ranked like #13?
  • what about the fact mcgregor has yet to face a top 3 contender?
  • what about the fact mcgregor has only 5 fights in the UFC, while all his other wins are over totally unknown men?
  • what about the fact aldo was actually not cleared to fight, and does in fact have a fractured rib? if mcgregor is so supremely confident in his skills, wouldn’t he want the champion in good health for their fight so there could be no doubt that, if mcgregor won, his win would be legitimate and not the result of fighting a handicapped opponent?

of course no one would be able to get a straight answer out of mcgregor. he would continue saying whatever it takes to get his minions all fired up, but it sure would be nice if someone would actually address these obvious inconsistencies that undermine everything he says.

maybe i should get a twitter account.

“hi, mr mcgregor? this is david. i just wanted to tell you are very good at giving the people what they want. it’s just unfortunate that what the people want is pro-wrestling drama and bullshit. also, as it stands you are talented but still a fraud. i want to see some wins over serious opponents to legitimatize your ridiculous claims. cheerio then.”

leave me alone.

i’ve been turning off my phone more and more lately, and it feels really good.

i seek peace and harmony.

i started doing it because i hate getting calls and texts when i’m sleeping. i don’t care if i’m sleeping in the middle of the day like a lazy prick. that’s what i want to do, and i don’t like things stopping me from doing what i want to do. like phone calls from telemarketers and texts that are not time-sensitive, like hi david, i think you should give immortal’s ‘sons of northern darkness’ album a few more spins before writing it off. sure ben, i’m game for that right after i’m done sleeping during the day like a vampire.

wow, 3 missed calls.

from there, my new habit started spreading. sometimes when jenn and i are doing something nice together, i don’t want to hear from anyone. sometimes when i’m playing tetris, i don’t want to talk to anyone. sometimes when i’m lying on the floor staring into the abyss of self-loathing, i don’t want to talk to anyone. so my phone is off more and more. and it’s freeing. because normally when i hear it ring, i feel like i should answer promptly, or at least look at it to see who is contacting me. but i don’t even like that miniscule amount of guilt. i don’t want to feel any guilt, especially so frequently and over something so stupid. i don’t owe my phone anything.

i guess you could argue that i owe whoever is contacting me the courtesy of answering them right then, but fuck that. with texts and emails and phone calls and tweets and facebook messages and hashtags and snap chats, i think we have allowed ourselves to become thoroughly inundated with constant contact with virtually everyone we know, and i think that’s ridiculous. everyone has to draw the line somewhere, and this is where i’m drawing it.

that being said, i think i’m way more prompt getting back to people than most people i know. probably because of all the snap chats and shit they have to catch up on. i even listened to sons of northern darkness last night, shortly after ben’s text. it wasn’t bad but i didn’t get a hard-on over it.