i don’t feel

i don’t feel much like blogging lately. i think it’s because i was blogging a lot for the last few weeks and burned myself out on it. for the last several days whenever i have checked in here, i’ve felt bored and annoyed, like i was just here out of some sense of obligation.

of course, that’s no fun so i’m making a point to blog less until such time as it starts feeling less forced.

however, there are a few things i want to get off my chest before receding into the abyss once again.

#1. i saw in the news that comedian kathy griffin posted a photo of herself holding donald trump’s bloody head. i don’t really care about this either way, but then i saw that old rocker ted nugent called her picture “downright vulgar, obscene and a genuine variation of a death threat.”

this is coming from the same guy who said barack obama could “suck his machine gun” and hilary clinton was a “worthless bitch” who could “ride one of his guns into the sunset.”

what a fucking hypocrite. it seems like lots of politically active people want to say incendiary things, mock people who take offense and call them “snowflakes,” and wave a flag for freedom of speech — only to cry foul when someone with a different opinion says something similarly inflammatory. it’s a bunch of bullshit. everyone should get some thicker skin, go ahead and talk shit, and not take offense when anyone else talks shit. then i’d never have to hear crowds of hypocrites calling each other snowflakes.

#2. last night i saw a well-dressed middle-aged guy, gassing up his very nice all-wheel drive volvo. his car had an “i [heart] vancouver island” sticker on it, and one of those annoying thule roof rack-mounted cargo boxes. he clearly thought he was a hardcore islander.


you know you’re a wannabe outdoor enthusiast when…

then he tossed an empty plastic jug of windshield cleaner in the trash can and drove off. i wanted to say, “i see by your car, sticker, and cargo box you’re a real outdoorsy type, so perhaps you’d be interested to know that plastic like the jug you just tossed out is being found by the ton in teeny, tiny pieces throughout the guts of fish and birds in even the most remote regions of earth. since you’re so rugged and adventurous, i thought maybe you’d like to help preserve what’s left of our rotting world by recycling that fucking jug instead of tossing it carelessly in the trash.” but instead, like a coward, i said nothing, and now i hate myself as much as i hate him.

#3. i have been thinking lately that when i’m at my most depressed, i wish i would just die and get the shit over with. conversely, when i’m at my happiest, i wish i would die so as to go out on a high note. i basically think there is never a bad time to hop off of this ride. i mentioned this to riley and he responded that this philosophy should be written in a breezy large print bestseller and promoted by oprah. i thought that was funny.

#4. i went into a lee’s famous chicken and then a tim horton’s yesterday to get junk food for a wedding party. both establishments were filled with the most wretched human vermin: hunchbacked, confused white trash; toothless drunks; mute yet incredibly rude and dismissive ESL students. it occurred to me that perhaps bill and i should go for dinner at lee’s chicken and then wash it down with a double double and some tim bits sometime, and soak in this rich cultural experience that the cowichan valley has to offer.

over and out.


spring a ding ding

lately i’ve heard a handful of people say stuff like, “holy hell, when are we going to get some warm weather??” as if they expect beach season to begin in april. comments like that lead me to believe that the last three or four years of droughts and heat waves have warped peoples sense of seasons to the point that they now expect to jump straight from winter into summer.

that bums me out. i like having a normal spring, with cool days that can be sunny and warm one second and pissing rain the next. i like it because, even though i hate that kind of inconsistent weather, it means we are that much closer to avoiding yet another drought this year. i’ll take rain in april and may in exchange for decent water levels and less forest fires in july and augst. i mean, shit — a few years ago we had a stubborn forest fire just a kilometer or two from our fucking house because the summer had been so damn dry and hot. that was really scary. the real, legitimate terror inspired by that kind of event is not worth the luxury of tanning in april.

so yeah. there isn’t a damn thing wrong with the spring we’re having on vancouver island so far. everyone can stop complaining about it, and find something else to complain about that i can then complain about.

traveling to vancouver is a fucking pain in the ass

my in-laws are booking their ferry rides to vancouver and i’m reminded of why i hate going to vancouver so much. it’s expensive as all hell and takes for fucking EVER.

the cost of two people taking a car on the ferry is $90 each way. so $180, plus gas, is roughly $200 each trip. for a cheap prick like myself, that’s a lot of money.

bc ferries are fucking crooks who are trying to pass off their job of being an extension of the highway as a tourist attraction. that’s horseshit. they can keep their shitty buffets, massage chairs, and fake wood floors and give me a reasonable fare instead.

and from our place, it’s at least an hour drive to either the nanaimo or victoria ferry terminal. then we have to get there about an hour early to make sure we make it on the ferry. then it’s an hour and a half ride plus another half hour of waiting to drive off the ferry. then it’s about an hour drive into vancouver. that’s a grand total of 5 hrs to get from my house to downtown vancouver, and over half of that is sitting around waiting for the fucking ferry. i could drive to port mcneill at the north end of the island in that time, or someone in vancouver could drive to vernon. and guess what, it would be a hell of a lot cheaper to drive to either of those places rather than take the ferry over to vancouver.

i don’t even like vancouver in the first place. it’s a fucking shithole cosmopolitan city like every other shithole cosmo city in the world, suffering from an abundance of concrete, rudeness, annoying “go get ’em” business types, hipster vegans, people in general, pollution, non-stop gridlock traffic, and claustrophobia (among other things i’m forgetting right now, i’m sure). couple that with the difficulty and cost to get there and it’s no wonder i rarely make the epic slog of a journey.

fuck traveling anywhere. gotta stay in shawnigan.

while searching "hate vancouver" i came across this awesome site. i love it.

while searching “hate vancouver” i came across this awesome site. i love it.