Event Horizon on a boat

I’m on the ferry again. Heading to the mainland. Cripes, what a hellscape this place is. I think what makes the ferry so particularly awful is that I am confronted — nay, overwhelmed — by a tidal wave of humanity that I usually avoid. I mean, I try to grocery shop early in the morning or later in the evening just to avoid the throngs of mouth breathers. I rarely go to concerts anymore. I (generally) avoid shopping malls. Ok I guess that’s the best comparison I have for taking the ferry, it’s like going to the mall in that there are tons and tons of people, and a good portion of them are despicable. Today there was a tall lumbering idiot carrying his approximately two-year old spawn. He was walking at a snail’s pace, impeding the progress of everyone behind him but he was totally unaware, he was too busy cooing like an imbecile at his progeny. Said progeny had dual snot-clogged nostrils, running and dripping down into her mouth. She coughed into the crowd of people around her several times, dad didn’t care. She was having a fit, crying about whatever happened to be in her line of sight at any given moment. She repeatedly hit him in the face with her hands, her blanket, whatever, and he kept acting like it was cute, the god damned dimwit. “Oh wow! Oh my! Blublublublublub [or some other dumb ‘fun game sound’ he made up].” I wanted to scream, “YOU ARE RAISING HER TO BE A MONSTER, YOU FOOL.” The people behind me were a pair of rough-looking middle aged men who kept swearing loudly and making smart ass scum comments like “where is a guy supposed to smoke dope and drink booze on this fucking boat,” over and over. Euurrrrgghhhhh, loathing. Then a human seated near me watched some worthless videos on their phone at full volume. I’ve been thinking lately that that is a red flag to me, a sign that a person is not conscientious or considerate of anyone around them. They are self-absorbed, entitled. Prob deserve to be tossed on the pyre to burn alive.

And that pretty much sums up my feelings on traveling with BC Ferries. It’s a flaming bastard of a hell ride. Not a good place for a misanthrope.

A child seated in front of me has turned around and made eye contact with me twice. He is maybe five, six. Young enough to still be cute, endearing. I’ve smiled politely each time but am acutely aware of the fact that he will grow into some kind of monster very soon.

Mall visit 2018

Last night I went to the mall with Bill for the first time in aeons. While the core value of the mall remains the same as I remember — rampant consumerism of poorly made junk — there were other aspects that made me feel like an old fella being left behind by the new world. There were stores that sold nothing but cases for smart phones, and people walking around while talking on their virtually invisible headset phone things (I don’t even know what to call these things) that appeared for a moment to be schizophrenics talking to themselves. Many of the products aimed at my approximate demographic were nostalgia throwbacks from the 80’s, like 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Household items like Christmas decorations, kettles, and throw pillows came in either ‘poor people pretending they’re upper middle class’ colour schemes like black and grey or deep red and gold, or funky ‘loser adults who still decorate their place like a college dorm room’ pastel rainbow combinations. The men’s clothing styles available at the stores were either toques and plaid shirts or that weird Polo-Ralph Lauren country club style shit that I never actually see anyone wear.

I had a really hard time relating to any of it, and that’s why I felt like an old man there. I felt bewildered and out of touch with what ‘the kids today’ (and adults like myself, too) are into.

The majority of the trip was not surprising, of course. I didn’t expect to go to a mall as a 38-yr old antisocial curmudgeon and walk out, eyes wide, grinning madly like a Cheshire cat, with armfuls of junk. I expected to find the experience annoying and sad but also funny, and it was those things. It’s just the disconnected feeling that I didn’t anticipate.

Back to the safety of my hovel.

I should note that the biggest thing Bill and I were looking forward to at the mall was eating at Arby’s — again, part of the funny/gross experience, not because it’s emperically good — but it wasn’t there anymore. That was a huge disappointment for us. Maybe that’s why I felt so out of place there. I mean, what kind of world is it when there is no Arby’s at the fucking mall? Not a world that I want to live in, that’s for sure.