Yesterday a co-worker asked me to host a party. I said nah. We have been the go-to party hosts for like 15 years now, and the disappointment and frustration of trying to throw parties during the pandemic has me burnt out on it. If someone wants a party, why don’t they throw it themselves? I suggested to my co-worker that they host it and they said “nahhh, maybe if the weather was nice and we could be out on my deck but it won’t be nice for a while…” I thought maybe they were nervous about their place getting trashed by a rowdy crowd or something (even though that seems like a silly fear at middle age) so I said what about just having people over for a potluck than? My co-worker simply replied, “I can’t.” Now, they have a totally decent house, centrally located, plenty of space, so I’m not sure why they “can’t” have people over. We’re not talking about having a rager here, we’re talking about a dozen or less co-workers having a few drinks together.
Another co-worker overheard this convo and said basically the same as the first co-worker, that if the weather was nice they would be happy to have people over for an outdoor thing, but their house “is no good for hosting parties.” I’m not clear on what that means though because to me, most people just want a place to get drunk and smoke weed. It’s better if the venue is clean and tidy, and even better if it’s got a cool vibe but those aren’t necessary. So really, any house is good for hosting parties, by my standards.
My first thought is that maybe some people are ashamed of their homes, like I have been feeling about the prospect of moving into a mobile (ahem, MANUFACTURED) home. Maybe they know their places are messy, or they haven’t gotten around to patching that hole in the drywall, or they haven’t finished those 4-yr old renovations, stuff like that. Maybe they just think their places look shitty or smell bad, like they will appear poor or something. Anyway, I don’t know if this is necessarily the reason my co-workers didn’t want to host an indoor party but I bet it’s a fairly common reason. I think the other common reasons would be laziness (don’t want to decorate, clean up, have to deal with drunks at the end of the night, etc), fear of their stuff or place getting damaged, and fear of failure, ie hosting a lame party. Those are the things that have prevented me from having parties in the past.
Anyway, I just thought it was interesting to encounter the possibility of other people being embarrassed of their homes right when I’m wrestling with that issue myself. Good timing, universe.
crimson highway 