girls on film

Yesterday I recorded a short video of myself for a friend. It’s his 50th birthday soon and his partner asked us to contribute something to his birthday video, you know those things that have been popular during the pandemic due to not being able to get together. I was dreading making the vid because I always loathe how I look on film, both photos and vids. I’m a terribly unphotogenic son of a bitch. It’s funny because I don’t think I’m too hard to look at normally but capture it on film and blammo, I’m a monster. Ok not that bad but I def look dumb.

But I went and made a quick vid for him last night, just walking around the living room while filming myself with an old digital camera, and it turned out great! Ok not that great, I didn’t say anything wise or funny or special but at least I didn’t look like a hideous freak. My gestures and facial expressions were surprisingly normal and pleasant. I couldn’t believe it. For the first time that I can think of, I didn’t mind seeing myself on film. It was shocking, and a real treat.

That might seem like a silly non-event to blog about but when you’ve had decades to build up an aversion to seeing yourself on film, this is a big deal. So yeah, that’s it.