Ode to a VCR, and old world quality

Time for you to learn about my sweet VCR. Buckle up.

I used to have a VCR that worked just fine. I had it for years, maybe a decade, and it served me faithfully, playing all my old VHS horror tapes — Salem’s Lot, The Exorcist, The Shining, etc. But one fateful day, I was in a thrift store and saw this gorgeous beast.

That’s a JVC unit, affectionately dubbed HR-D151U. I don’t know shit about VCR’s but this thing looked so cool and 80’s that after a quick test, I decided to buy it and give it a shot. I got it home and it turned out that besides looking awesome, it worked perfectly.

…except for one thing. Do you see the portion with all the buttons, just below the door for the video cassettes? Believe it or not, that part detaches and is a WIRELESS REMOTE CONTROL. Yup. You have to believe that back in the early 80’s, this would have been seriously cutting edge technology, and probably hella expensive. Unfortunately, while the controls worked perfectly while attached to the unit, they didn’t work when detached.

That was disappointing but it wasn’t a deal breaker for me. It’s not like I re-watch my old tapes more than once or twice a year, and when I do, it’s not like I’m constantly pausing, resuming, and rewinding them, so the remote feature really wouldn’t make any difference to my viewing experience. It would just be crazy sweet to have that stupid little remote sitting in front of me on the coffee table, able to do those things should I like to.

But a few days ago, I had a free morning and was daydreaming about watching Night of the Living Dead on VHS in the next week or so, and the idea of having that working remote really dug its claws into my brain. I detached it, looked closely at it, and determined it couldn’t be too complex to figure out. I carefully disassembled it and couldn’t see anything obviously wrong. The worst thing I noted was some corrosion on some of the battery terminals so I scraped off what I could with a small knife, sprayed it with some electrical component cleaner, scraped some more, sprayed some more. I was disappointed I hadn’t found anything that I thought would actually fix it but threw the batteries back in to test it, just in case.

And what do you know, it fucking worked. And since then, all I can do when I walk by that stupid VCR is detach the remote, turn the thing on and off a few times, and flick up and down through the VCR’s channels. It’s such a stupid little thing but good golly, it’s satisfying as all hell. So Ben, hurry up and get over here so we can watch NotLD. I’ll even let you wield the remote, and we can pause and resume it as many times as your little heart desires.

What’s really amazing about this is the fact that the VCR is 35-40 years old but the only thing wrong with it was some battery terminal corrosion, probably from someone leaving old batteries in it for many years. That’s some high quality shit. How many electronic devices made today will still work perfectly in 35-40 years? Probably .0001%, I would guess. I just love when people make the best stuff they can, even though it might theoretically mean they will eventually put themselves out of business. Devotion to quality is something I greatly admire.

i don’t understand why VHS isn’t included in the analog resurgence movement

a lot of people love vinyl records and talk about the superior sound quality of them. i like records fine but don’t really buy that. the hisses and pops are alright and lend themselves to certain albums well but that sort of thing certainly doesn’t enhance every album, so i think it’s weird how nuts some people are about vinyl.

on the other hand, i think VHS videos share a lot of the same qualities but i like it a lot more, and don’t understand why there isn’t a dedicated following for them. i’ve never heard anyone wax on about the warm colours of VHS, the tracking that causes little lines of static every now and then, the slight warbling of the audio…it’s not only retro and awesome. to me, it actually feels more tangible, more true to life than the sterile, cold, flawless, crystal clear pictures of modern HD tv’s.

i noticed this in the last year or so while watching tons of stephen king film adaptations with dana. a few of the flicks we’ve watched have been from my collection of 80’s horror movies on VHS, like children of the corn, graveyard shift, and salem’s lot. after getting used to all the various digital formats for movies and tv now, the warmth and depth of VHS vids is amazing. i’m sure a big part of my affinity for it is nostalgia-based but that’s fine. i still like it.

it’s surprising to me that more people aren’t as pumped on VHS as i am. hell, even audio cassettes have made a modest resurgence with 80’s nostalgists, so why don’t we see a resurgence with VHS? it possesses the same analog qualities that seem to make people rabid over other formats so i just don’t get it.

and if you don’t believe me that VHS is actually awesome, do yourself a favour and go watch an old flick you like on VHS. something like gremlins or die hard or labyrinth or ghostbusters. try it and tell me it isn’t superior.

long live film.