Nefarious: my movie review, and subsequent rant against all things Christian

Last night I watched a scary movie that came out this year (2023) called Nefarious. It’s about a prison inmate on death row who claims to be possessed by a demon, and the psychiatrist trying to determine if this fella is mentally fit to be executed. I was really into it at first because the actor playing the possessed inmate did a fantastic job, and some of the dialogue was really misanthropic, and of course, I have a soft spot for scary, serious, religious flicks.

But there were a few red flags that gradually presented themselves. First one was some of the dialogue really walked a line where it might be misanthropic, but it might also just be ranting right wing Christian rhetoric. Second red flag was that I didn’t recognize any of the actors, and all of the performances besides the demon inmate weren’t great — two more hallmarks of Christian filmmaking. Third red flag was that the “special effects” were among the worst CGI I’ve ever witnessed in film — another hallmark of Christian filmmaking (they’re so broke). Fourth was that the demon told the quack that before he left their meeting, he would have murdered three people. Well, the first “murder” was that the demon knew that, years before, the quack had helped his dying mother receive euthanasia. The second was that his girlfriend was getting an abortion right then. The third is when the quack signs the form saying the demon inmate is fit to be executed. Yup. Pretty horrific “murders.”

What I’m driving at is that it became abundantly clear to me partway through the film that it wasn’t much more than a PSA, like those commercials I used to see on tv in the 80’s by the Church of Latter Day Saints. The subject matter lured me in and the demon’s performance hooked me, but the rest was so absurdly over-the-top Christian that I can’t imagine how any audience but a devout Christian one would be into it. That’s the thing about Christian stuff though, they are (just barely) big enough to create their own artists AND support them — sure, the production values of Nefarious were laughable and the whole film will alienate everyone who isn’t a fundamentalist Christian themselves, but they don’t care because enough Christians will see it just to support their brethren. It’s the same with Christian music. Go into a Christian thrift store (why are all thrift stores Christian, anyway) and they’re usually playing some insipid, overtly Christian soft rock or adult contemporary music you have never heard before. They always support each others shit, it’s a self-perpetuating cycle — which is unfortunate for the rest of us who have to hear their shit music while in thrift stores, or get duped into watching a piss film of theirs.

So there you go, my review on Nefarious: it’s a piece of shit. One actor was great, everything else about the film was piss. 2/10.

But I’m not done yet. Now I need to rail against Christianity in general.

The film touched on so many typical Christian complaints attempting to illustrate that demons have infiltrated humanity and most humans now go to hell because we’re so corrupted by evil — euthanasia, abortion, sex slavery (I assume the film was referring not to genuine sex slavery but to the imaginary ‘US Democrats have child sex slaves at the pizza shop’ bullshit), modern film, music, video games, etc desensitizing children to ever more extreme sex and violence — the usual Christian moaning points. The demon in the film was laughing about these things, mocking humanity to the psychiatrist, and the psychiatrist character, who was an atheist, rebutted him pathetically (because diehard Christians see arguments like “but it’s her body, her choice” and “my ailing mother had a terminal diagnosis and wanted to die” as feeble excuses we accept and use to justify murder because we are ignorant), and the demon just kept on outsmarting this atheist who formerly thought he had it all figured out. The fool! Doesn’t he realize that accepting Christ as your saviour (and paying money to their institutions, and ignoring the rampant destruction religion has caused humanity, and disregarding all the other religions which also claim they are the only way to eternal salvation) is the ONLY way to eternal salvation???? Man, it really painted anyone who doesn’t buy into Christianity as a deluded idiot who is playing right into the plans of Satan. Are you old enough to remember those tiny Christian Chick comics?

This is basically what Nefarious was. Ham-handed is too kind of a description for the style of evangelizing done in Chick comics and Nefarious. The only people they could possibly convert are the dumbest of the dumb, but I guess that’s what they want. People who will follow blindly and happily financially support the church and hopefully bring some more dumb people into it with them.

Which reminds me, I met a Christian recently. He really bugged me. He was buying some music gear off of me so it should have been a quick “yep looks good, here’s the money” or “I think I’ll pass” situation, but this guy was so chatty and eager to casually mention his church numerous times — talking about how great the sound system is at his church, so many good musicians there, I should hear this one guitar player, he’ll blow my mind, here’s a clip of us performing there, it’s a great church, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Fuck man, he really dug into the passive approach, throwing it out constantly hoping I’d be like “where is your church, maybe I’ll come check it out.” Yeah right. Maybe to acquire coordinates for a missile strike. Oh, something weird he said: a few times, he mentioned that his son was really into rap and wants to get into it himself, and that he keeps telling his son “well, ok, but don’t go thinking it will be like 8 Mile. You’re white and if you show up at their venue [he didn’t say who “they” were but I assume he meant black people] it’s not going to go well for you, they will beat the CRAP out of you,” stuff like that. He was being kind of cryptic but my “I think this guy is a racist” alarm bells were going off hard. And I thought how funny it was that this smooth-talking, inoffensive, friendly white guy is actually a hateful motherfucker.

Another thing: I was scared by some parts of the movie last night but once I realized what the film was, I was furious that 40 years on, the Christian church is still using fear to fuck with me, just like it did when I was a kid. If it wasn’t for those experiences as a kid, I don’t think I’d have the fears I do about this kind of stuff, and you know what? I’m livid about it. There is no single person I can point my finger at and say “YOU, you fucked me over as a kid and it is still with me now and I’m fucking mad and now I’m going to kick the shit out of you,” and that’s incredibly unsatisfying. The Christian church is a nebulous entity, a constantly shifting collective, so all I can do is hate on Christianity at large. Not satisfying. Plus, what does that actually mean, what actions can I actually take against Christianity at large? Burn down a church and go to jail? Not worth it. I need to figure out ways to fuck with Christianity that won’t land me in hot water.

That said, I know a handful of Christians I love, that are great people. So it’s complicated.

How’s that for a real all over the map diarrhea dump of hate for Christianity blog post? Totally jumbled and full of anger. That about sums up my feelings on the topic.

New nightmare

Last night I had another nightmare. It was basically the same as my usual ones but there was a twist this time in that I was the evil force doing harm. I was in a huge room, almost a hangar, with lots of glass in the high ceilings. It reminded me of the old Crystal Pool building in Victoria. There were a bunch of people there, they were classmates of mine (not actually, just in the dream) or something like that. I was grabbing them one by one, floating way up to the ceiling with them, puncturing one leg on each person with a thorn or something, and the thorn or whatever was poisoned or filthy so their legs immediately became very infected, hugely swollen and blotchy, and the people became very sick. I then convinced them that we needed to crudely cut off their infected legs. I did this knowing the infection was already systemic and the people were going to basically rot and die in a few minutes regardless, but I guess I just wanted to torture them further in their final moments. The hall was full of rotting bodies with missing legs, some floating in the air, some on the floor, all my doing. I was having a wonderful time, fooling all these people who thought I was helping them when I was actually some kind of sadistic demon doing nothing but bizarre harm.

The weird part is that even though I was the thing in the dream doing all the evil shit, my brain was still terrified of what it was seeing, and I woke up freaked out. Isn’t that silly? I think that was a first for me. Actually I think being the evil force is also a first for me. Kind of neato, really.

Yet another tale of two assholes, where both claim to not be assholes

I just read a news story about a small business owner who got in multiple arguments with a TD Bank rep over the phone, only to have the bank rep leave a negative review of the guy’s business.

The business owner, Brandon Grenier, admits he got “irate” with the TD rep and argued with them. The rep even hung up on him at one point.

My douchebag alarms went off off right then.

I don’t know about you but no matter how annoyed I’ve been with anyone on the phone, I’ve never been such a prick that any professional has hung up on me. That’s the first red flag.

Second red flag: Grenier runs an “events company.” I’ve never met a professional promoter who wasn’t a slimy used car salesman, and utterly phony.

Third red flag, and the nail in the coffin: Grenier’s pic.

This is too comical all on its own. I don’t even need to come up with a witty caption.

The Backstreet Boys beard, that gelled hair, that soulless “trust me” smile, the collared shirt open at the top — this is clearly a demon from the bowels of Hell masquerading as a human.

Of course the bank rep was out of line leaving a negative review of Satan’s business but you have to be a special kind of dickhead to elicit such a response from a person — what goes around comes around. Both of them should probably return to their fiery netherworld domain and leave the good people of Earth alone.