yesterday

Urban setting, 5:00 pm Friday evening, April 19th 2024 AD. Sunny and hot. Traffic is the usual nightmare it is here. I fight traffic and finally find a parking space. I walk through the blazing sun to a music store to pick up a cymbal I ordered that has allegedly arrived. The employee who helps me has a goatee, looks to be in his mid-50’s, slim build. Looks like an aging geek, basically. I note two, possibly three skull tattoos on his forearm and hand, and wonder if this older fellow thinks he looks tough or evil because of his skull tattoos. It’s absurd. He also speaks with one of those insanely phony “super nice guy” voices some service people use. I hate those voices to start with, but when it comes from an older guy who is also sort of trying to look scary…I don’t know, I’m at a loss for words. It’s baffling. Pick a lane FFS, are you doing a terrible job of being scary, or a terrible job of being super nice? How can you be this old and still have zero grasp on who you are?

He goes to get the cymbal I ordered, struggles to find it. Eventually does, as soon as he brings it out I see it’s not the one I ordered. I’m disappointed and irritated. Someone at the other store catalogued this cymbal incorrectly in their system so that’s that, there’s nothing to be done. Why are people so fucking incompetent and unable to correctly perform even the simplest tasks?

While waiting for scary/super nice older guy to find the cymbal, I gaze around the place. The store is full of geeks. I’ve noticed this before, that music store clientele are usually like this. The other store employee has sort of long hair but it’s ultra thin and wispy, and he has it flopped over in a weird way that I can’t even explain. He looks like he plays in a 90’s Canadian college rock band like the Grapes of Wrath or something. There is a boy, maybe a teen, bringing in a guitar to be repaired. He is chubby and ugly, looks like he probably likes Green Day. A nerdy dad who wants to sign his nerdy kid up for music lessons but doesn’t understand how that works or when lessons run, despite that seeming like a perfectly obvious thing. A few others I fail to note. As I walk toward the door to leave, a goth nerd female who appears to be in her early 20’s makes meek, fleeting eye contact with me as she walks in through the door. I try to communicate to her with my glance that I despise her. She initially lets the door close behind her, but then reaches back to hold it open for me, but she is too late and only manages to hold it open about an inch. I feel like these few tiny moments speak volumes about her. I thank her for at least attempting to hold the door open, because I think it’s important we all try to be courteous and kind to each other.

I re-enter the inferno and walk back to my vehicle.

love the synthwave, hate everyone who comments on it

Boy, as much as I love listening to synthwave/chillwave/retrowave, I have to be careful not to read the comments for each video. There are a lot that make me cringe, like whoever wrote the comment is either baring their soul in the most embarrassing way possible, stoned out of their mind, or trying to write something that sounds touching and beautiful that will get a ton of likes. Like this:

One day it will be 10,000 years from now and no one will remember this. So keep it close, close for now. Right now it’s unforgettable.

Barf. Or this:

Strangely beautiful, like a dream I had once forgotten.

Or all of these:

Life is short but nights are long.

it’s pretty sad we’re only here for such a short time

Have you guys ever thought about how fast life passes by? One moment I’m in elementary school sitting in time out, now I’m graduated, 20 years old, everyone around my age who i used to see as “the big kids” are here but I’m now one of them… Its like it all ended so quickly and i never appreciated living in the moment. You live your life out, marry someone, have kids, make something of yourself, cause if you don’t, all of life will feel like school did. Gone in the blink of an eye.

But I like this sarcastic comment one person left that touches on exactly what I’m talking about:

Edgy deep comment about life,death and the universe.

I think the most embarrassing part of those comments for me is that I understand what they’re getting at, and I actually feel the same way — this music is heavily nostalgic in the most painful, beautiful way. I don’t mind admitting that or talking about it but I hate feeling like I have something in common with people who would publicly make such trite comments about it. I guess I have to come to terms with it: I’m just as typical and pathetic as every other synthwave-lovin’ jerk out there. Better soothe my frayed nerves with some more of the shit. I just have to remember not to scroll down to the comments this time.