old man abaddon has a kid

I read an article about how Abaddon, the drummer from 80’s UK metal band Venom, had a kid with a young woman recently. He is currently 63 years old.

^{Venom, in the early 80’s. That’s Abaddon on the left.}

I have questions about this.

How can anyone justify having a child at such an advanced age? How can you parent it like you need to when you have your own health needs and concerns that need to be addressed? Some other big male stars have been doing this recently — Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro most notably I think, and they’re even older than Abaddon. I was incredulous at them too of course. What the hell are these men thinking when they knock someone up?

But it takes two to tango, so I also wonder what their partners are thinking. I feel like anyone who signs up for having a child with a senior citizen father is clearly completely fucking nuts. There must be some sort of elite level gold digger, baby mama, or daddy issues stuff at play with these people.

But Abaddon in particular really has me wondering about his young partner, because Abaddon can’t be that wealthy. He played in a cult metal band that has probably only paid about as well as an entry-level career would have, plus he was probably a party animal who drank and snorted a lot of his money away, plus he probably had shady, inept managers who didn’t look after his meager wealth for him, so I don’t think there is much gold to dig here. In Abaddon’s case, I wonder if his partner is just such a star-struck Venom fan that she is happy to have the child of a 60-something year old man with basically zero prospects, just because he played drums (poorly) in a (lousy) metal band (40 years ago). It’s baffling, but people are totally fucked so not only would I not put this past someone, I actually expect it.

A while back, someone (I think it was Ben) said it would be great if there was a way to give every man a vasectomy at age 10 or something, and then if and when they want to have a kid in the future, they just have to go get it reversed. It would stop so many unwanted pregnancies, and ensure a certain measure of forethought going in to having kids. I’m not sure that hurdle would have stopped old Abaddon from making this mess he has created but it might have, and I think that would have been far better for him, his young wife, and the kid.

Mandy, Beyond the Black Rainbow, and the hypocrisy of the reviews these films have garnered thus far

I loved Beyond the Black Rainbow, and this guy’s performance in particular.

In the last few weeks, I’ve seen two films made by Panos Cosmatos — Beyond the Black Rainbow, and Mandy. The former was widely panned by critics and has a low approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes, while the latter has been lauded by critics and audiences alike.

Meanwhile, I’m baffled as to how these films could be received so differently when they are so similar to each other.

• Both films are set in 1983.
• Both are retro as all hell, a la Stranger Things, down to all kinds of wonderful details like the fashion and furniture of the time.
• Both films utilize a plodding, glacial pace.
• The dialogue in both films is delivered in a slow, dream-like way.
• Both films clock in at about 2 hrs.
• Both films tell simple fantasy stories (BtBR is about an evil doctor that imprisons a girl who has psychic powers, Mandy is about a guy seeking vengeance against some religious fanatics who killed his spouse, and their biker-demon henchmen) but tell them in ways and dress them up with interesting storytelling devices that make the films seem more complex.
• Both films are quite violent, and have scenes where sharp spikes are driven into some poor bastard’s mouth — Cosmatos seems to have a fascination with penetrating orifices with sharp things. I like it.
• Both films wear their influences on their sleeves, quite overtly: for example, the biker-demons in Mandy are clearly inspired by the Cenobytes from Hellraiser, while the “devil’s teardrop” knife from BtBR and Red’s axe from Mandy are clearly inspired by the films of Cronenberg. And of course, though less obvious to the layman, the slow pace and dream-like qualities of both films hearken to the films of both Lynch and Kubrick.
• Both films share a nod to 80’s metal: in BtBR, it’s the ‘heshers’ listening to Venom by a campfire; in Mandy, its the Motley Crue and Black Sabbath shirts she is usually seen wearing.

I think both films are fine (though I much prefer BtBR, most likely due to it leaning a bit more toward the sci-fi and horror genres) and very similar so I don’t understand why one was shat on while the other is celebrated. I bet it has everything to do with Cage being in Mandy, and all the sycophants pushing each other out of the way to eagerly suck a star’s dick.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: critics are fucking idiots. They are as biased as anyone else — nay, more so since they are paid to write their drivel and Hollywood hype machines don’t mind throwing a few coins at the monkeys when it’s to their advantage — so their opinions are actually less valid than yours or mine. Don’t pay any god damned attention to them. Just watch what you want to watch, and feel about it however you feel. You don’t need a fucking critic to tell you what moves you and what doesn’t.

I’m on a mission here.